thanks for the memories....

A couple of weeks ago I was taking out boxes of books from my attic to put out on some new bookshelves we bought.  After 6 years of living in this house we thought maybe it was time to finish unpacking.  Well one of the boxes that we dragged down down from the attic turned out to not be books but rather a box of memories.  It had my old year books in it (yikes!).  It had letters from old friends and old boyfriends, it had things like the number I wore when I ran the NYC marathon, my finishing certificate.  Isn't it amazing what a box of memories can bring back? I found a thank-you note in there from my old high-school principle from when I had done devotions.  An old high-school paper I had written that had notes on it from my favorite teacher telling me that it was one of the best papers he had ever read.  It was unbelievable how some things so forgotten for so long could be brought back so vividly.   I definitely recommend keeping a box of memories, even what you are sure is going to be insignificant can be fun to look through 10-15  years down the road when life is so different from where it was!   By far the most fun was the pictures.  I will try to control myself and not post ALL of them..but some of them must be shared. 

Me BEFORE the marathon.....

This was November of 2000.  For those of you who don't know, you start the NYC on Staten Island, and you have to be there several hours before the marathon starts.  Fortunately for me my sister had a friend who was a coast guard stationed on Staten Island the year that I ran the marathon so I got to hang out in his room (and have my sister with me) while I was anxiously waiting for the start of 26.2 miles as opposed to out in the freezing cold with most others.  This is me AFTER the 26.2 miles.  Again for those of you who don't know that is a STUPID long distance to try to cover on foot.  I can't take this opportunity (well shouldn't) to share all the memories that going through the photos brought to me but it really is funny how looking at a picture can take you back to that point in time.  I remember how I felt, physically, emotionally, everything.  Something I could not have really remembered enough to talk to you about the day before is back with stunning clarity.  

This is me and my sister at my brother's wedding in May 2001.  My sister is all dressed up in silver because she was asked to be part of the wedding party...one of my brother's grooms..women? Was I asked, you ask?? Noo.....but that's OK....I'm not holding on to bitterness after all these years.....;-) 

These are two of me on a vacation to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic...sadly I don't remember the year....02 or 03.  Scuba diving and swimming with dolphins.  Scuba diving is still something that I would describe as a life-changing experience.  You dive into the water, worried about being able to breathe through the machine they give you, worried about remembering all the instructions you were given and all of a sudden you look around and you are in a whole new world!! We were surrounded by gorgeous fish and beautiful plant life.  I don't know when I have ever been in more awe of God's creation than I was then. I mean it's like He didn't just create one world.  He created several.  There is our world, then there is outer space, then there is deep ocean can you imagine the creativity and imagination of our Creator God?  Ok. I know it's  a rabbit trail but I heard something the other day that struck me.  How recently have people started exploring the ocean? Especially the deep ocean?  There are depths we may never get to, animals we may never see with human eyes?  Do you know what that means? That means that some things were created simply for GOD to enjoy?  How cool is that? SOMEDAY I am going to do it again.  A life dream of mine now is to get certified and go scuba diving as often as I possibly can.  

Some memories were more poignant than others.  I found pictures of me with ex-boyfriends.

THIS is my first love Matt.  I also found some old diaries.  I am SUCH a girl!!  It was funny reading through those.  Have you ever heard Garth Brooks' song "Unanswered prayers"?  The main line is "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers, remember when your talking to the man upstairs that just because He doesn't answer doesn't  mean He don't care.  Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers".  I don't usually take my philosophy from Garth Brook songs..honestly.  But I think he might be on to something here. ;-)   Looking back I can honestly tell you I don't think that I would do things all that differently.  Matt played a big part in my life, he was a piece of the puzzle, or yarn that is forming into the larger picture or tapestry of my life...BUT he broke my heart. 

     I read through part of the diary and it was fairly ironic all these years laer, parts of it.   I talk at one point about having Matt call me talking about getting together, and another friend Mark coming to see me in the city to take me to a Broadway play, and about going out with Tim.  I follow that up with " you would think that I had a very full social calendar and would never worry about being alone but I don't see it really going anywhere with any of those guys! (HA!).  My last entry was the one that got me though.  There was almost a quarter of the diary left so I would guarantee you that I did not know at the time that I wrote it that it would be my last entry but I said "what a difference a year makes, aren't I glad that I am not the one ultimately in charge".    Have truer words ever been said?  I can tell you looking back now that "what a difference 10 years make, aren't I glad that I am not the one ultimately in charge."