alivingjournal

On Gay Marriage.....

2010-08-12T07:14:00.003-04:00

On August 4th a judge ruled that California's ban on same sex marriage was unconstitutional. "Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license," wrote U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn Walker in a 136-page decision. "Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite-sex couples are superior to same-sex couples.".........."Moral disapproval alone is an improper basis on which to deny rights to gay men and lesbians. The evidence shows conclusively that Proposition 8 enacts, without reason, a private moral view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite-sex couples," wrote Judge Walker.

I could talk about how he had no right to overturn the votes of over 7 million state wide voters, how has a judge he made a legislative ruling which is NOT within his rights to do. I could talk about how as one of the few openly homosexual judges on the bench he should have recused himself from this decision because of an inability to be un-biased. If you think perhaps I am being unfair on his bias you should read more of his ruling.

" The ban on gay marriage, for example, "exists as an artifact of a time when the genders were seen as having distinct roles in society and in marriage." "That time," the court declared, "has passed." According to the court, "gender no longer forms an essential part of marriage; marriage under law is a union of equals." The plaintiffs in Perry "do not seek recognition of a new right," but instead simply the existing fundamental right of marriage.

So are ALL laws based on morality unconstitutional?

The voters should be allowed to make the decision, and those who don't like it can move to a state that satisfies their preferences. During the Constitution's ratification, Alexander Hamilton assured New Yorkers that the Constitution would never permit the federal government to "alter or abrogate" a state's "civil and criminal institutions [or] penetrate the recesses of domestic life, and control, in all respects, the private conduct of individuals." (insert your own LOL here!)

All that said that is not my main basis for being opposed to what the judge did. I am opposed to gay marriage whether it is handed to us by a judge over stepping his bounds or by a vote of the people. I am morally opposed to homosexuality and I think that the ramifications of it becoming mainstream are harmful to me and my family, and my children. Marriage is not a 'right' that we have to fight for, it's not a "social contract that we can re-negotiate based on changing social trends". It IS something set up and established by God, and to suggest that we can in any way change his laws is somewhat prideful of us. Gen 1:27 So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them." Matthew 19:4, Mark 10:6...Whenever Jesus was asked about marriage he went back to the passage defining it as between a man and a woman. Romans 1:26-27, 1 Cor 6:9-10, 1 Timothy 1:9-10.

There is more that I can say but part of why I felt compelled to write is because a lot of the response I am hearing from Christians is about how we are to be loving, and that how others live their lives shouldn't affect us at all. I agree COMPLETELY that we have to respond in love, only ever condemning the sin, always loving the sinner. However a quote in Martin Luther's biography got my attention and I couldn't shake it.

"If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the Word of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking. I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Him. Where the battle rages there the loyalty of the soldier is proved; and to be steady on all the battle front besides, is mere flight and disgrace if he flinches at that point."

WOW! So if the enemy has been revealed, perhaps it is time for us to reconsider where we pick our spiritual battles!

Books

2010-06-02T09:11:00.006-04:00

I would be most content if my children grew up to be
the kind of people who think decorating
consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.
~ Anna Quindlen ~

I have always enjoyed reading to my kids. Ever since Kaity was born practically, she has never been more content than to be curled up in someone's lap having them read to her. She also picked favorites pretty early on. By the time she was not much older than two she had "Curious George goes to the Hospital" memorized word for word. Rodney took a little longer but the love of reading is in his blood and now he has come to enjoy a good book as well as the next one.

We get our books from all kinds of sources. Some have been passed down, some we borrow from the library, some we purchase from the Book Barn. Some become instant favorites like "Click Clack Moo, cows that type". Some only get read once and never looked at again. Others......

Well others give you the chance to share ......wow share what? Recently a child's version of "Anne of Green Gables" made it's way to our house! There are almost no words to describe what reading it to Kaity is like. For those of you who have never looked on a book as one of your closest friends you won't understand. But for those of you who are kindred spirits and "of the race that knows Joseph" I am sure you can relate.

Most of the Anne of Green Gable books I had read to me. I was older than Kaity is now, but after dinner in Ecuador we would all go into my mom's room and she would read the books out loud to us. We went through the whole series that way. Laughing at Anne's antics together, crying through Matthew's death, cheering with her through her joys and triumphs and feeling for her through her struggles. As I sat down to read the book to Kaity for the first time I could not believe how quickly I was transported back to that room, every detail in vivid memory in my head, I could see us all lying on the bed, I swear even the smell came back to me.

I LOVE the Anne of Green Gables books. In a way they really are part of my childhood and life in a way that a dear childhood friend would be. I LOVE being able to introduce that old dear wonderful friend to my daughter and start to see them have a relationship.

I am getting a new roof!

2010-05-07T08:17:00.006-04:00

Sometimes that face that projects on a house seem to be never ending can be a bit frustrating. Sometimes, I have to admit I find the projects exciting. This spring my house is getting quite the face lift because are getting a new roof! And not just any new roof a standing seam metal roof. It is apparently very green and eco-friendly which means we get a $1500 tax credit for installing it. It also lasts for 50 years which is roughly 3x longer than your average shingle roof. Other huge things that it had going in it's favor was that my husband can install it, AND we got most of the material for free. :-) Some of the things that it had NOT going in it's favor was that since we are installing it ourselves I have had to find myself on the top of a fairly high roof, leaning out over the edge in order to hold a piece of metal on while my husband attaches it. *shudders* that is not exactly my favorite but what are you going to do? I will keep posting pictures as more of the final picture emerges but here are some pictures of the first real day of roofing.

Beyond Belief

2010-04-21T09:22:00.002-04:00

I pull up yahoo.com this morning in order the check my e-mail and the headline that is staring at me is " Evangelist's invitation stirs controversy" . A watchdog group is objecting to Franklin Graham coming to speak at the National Day of Prayer event at the pentagon because his past description of Islam as "evil" is offensive.

Sort of makes sense doesn't it? I mean we have a president who bows to the Saudi king, he shakes hands with Chavez. He has well documented ties to anti-american anti-Semitic terrorist like Rashid Khalidi, Ali Abunimah, Bill Ayers , Bernardine Dohrn, the Rev. Bill Wright. Also, lets not forget that when Netanyahu came to visit the white house the president would not allow them to be photographed together. I think we all know that while he might not say it out loud Obama is a little offended by the fact that someone like Franklin Graham has been invited to speak at the pentagon.

The story only gets scarier as you keep reading. Weinstein the head of the watchdog group that is objecting to Graham goes on to stay that he objects to the pentagon working with the National Day of Prayer task force. He said that he doesn't object to a national day of prayer he just doesn't want them to endorse the task force because they organize "Christian events" for the day and that is preferential treatment.

A federal judge in Wisconsin agrees. She called the National Day of Prayer unconstitutional because it "amounts to a call for religious action". She did postpone enforcement of the decision until all appeals are exhausted.

Phew *breathes sigh of relief*. Well I guess that last part is good news. I guess at least THIS year I can still gather at my local Christian school or church for a National Day of Prayer without being shut down. My church can hand out brochures about the day without being in fear of losing their tax-exempt status....for now.

You know in an attempt to be fair and balanced lets look at this from the other sides point of view for a minute. Imagine how relieved they are. I mean after all these years of being brow beaten and forced to participate in something that they didn't want to participate in, now they have been offered the religious freedom to do .......what they always had the right to do.

"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."

part of the journey

2010-04-11T17:35:00.003-04:00

I am taking a break from exercising. Starting this morning. When else would you start this kind of 'diet' if not on a Monday morning? My leg is not getting better. After finally going for an MRI it was diagnosed as a stress fracture. However, even as a stress fracture and not shin splints it should be almost completely healed by now and it's not. Since going to the Dr. almost two months ago I have for the most part done no running of any kind, but I've done the elliptical, and swimming, and biking, and weight training. I have honestly spent no less time exercising than I did before I've just avoided running (for the most part ;-) ). Did I mention the leg is not really showing many signs of healing?

I actually came to this conclusion Thursday night after talking to a close friend of mine. I was in a lot of pain, and very frustrated that this long after my original injury I was still dealing with this much pain so I realized I needed to do something more drastic, I was going to have to actually rest the leg. As if to verify my decision I woke up Friday morning to my leg actually in fairly painful spasms. Sooo I did what any rational person would do. I got up, put a phone call in to my physical therapist put on my sweats and tank top, laced up my sneakers and headed to the gym. Actually had to cut my work out short by about half an hour because after an hour on the elliptical, I was having a hard time putting any weight on my right leg during my upper body workout.

That night I mentioned to two of the people closest to me that I had come to the conclusion that this was a spiritual battle. God was trying to teach me something, there was a reason why He had taken running away from me and I was not going to learn it by replacing it with other exercises I was going to have to take a serious step back. That night the decision did not seem like a hard one as I laid in bed icing my leg with tears pouring down my face from the pain. So the next morning I did what any rational human being would do. I got up put, on my helmet and gloves, laced up my sneakers and headed off for a 20 mile bike ride. To be fair by that point I had decided that it made the most sense to start the 'fast' on Monday.

Yesterday morning on my bike ride (yes I biked again...but again I had decided to start on Monday so it really did make sense...honest). I spent most of the time trying to 'convince' God that I didn't really need the time off and if He would just heal my leg I was pretty certain that I could learn what it was He was trying to teach me while still exercising and running. He wasn't buying it.

I am planning to spend this time as a fast of sorts. The time that I would have spent working out I am going to focus on spending with God. I'll probably have more time to blog since I usually spend as much time at the gym as most people spend on a part time job. So lets see what He is trying to teach me!

Spring

2010-03-24T09:47:00.005-04:00

I think that no matter how old or infirm I may become, I will always plant a large garden in the spring. Who can resist the feelings of hope and joy that one gets from participating in nature's rebirth? ~Edward Giobbi

Is there ANYTHING better than knowing that spring is here? Maybe actively participating in it by planting seeds and watching them grow! Or having kids old enough to 'help' you plant seeds and be as excited as you are to watch them pop up through the ground. WHen Rodney saw the first seedlings pop up his eyes got huge, his grin was even bigger and he said "daddy can we show everybody?" Or to be able to use the opportunity as a chance to share with them the wonder of God's creation and that He is soo generous to allow us to participate with Him in helping things grow.

While talking to Kaity it became on object lesson for myself. IF I didn't plan a garden would the world be any less beautiful? Does God need me to plant HIs flowers for Him? Clearly no. BUT oh the joy that He allows me to be a tiny part even of His creative process.

Sometimes having the kids participate is a rough definition of the term 'help'. It would be easier to do it by myself at some point when they were out of the room. BUT it would hold less joy, less significance then doing the task together, watching them learn, seeing their joy at being part of the larger process.

I couldn't help but think that God must feel the same way most of the time about letting us participate in His master plan. Oh it would probably be soo much easier for Him to do it all while we were 'out of the room'. Much like my kids I find that I don't have patience for doing EVERY part of His plan, I want to skip to the fun part, I get distracted half way through by something shiny, I take my eyes off the goal .

Sometimes I just want to play in the dirt.

I am grateful that His patience is greater than my own. I am grateful for the promise of spring!

Spring makes its own statement, so loud and clear that the gardener seems to be only one of the instruments, not the composer. ~Geoffrey B. Charlesworth

Paul Tanner

2010-03-02T17:23:00.003-05:00

This is Paul Tanner. He is the closest thing to Indiana Jones you will ever meet. He was our tour guide when we were in Africa. We spent most of our time with Paul , learning what he does and doing what we could to help, which most of the time wasn't enough. His passport is several inches thick from extra pages he has to add from all his travels. He speaks several languages and can fake his way through even more. He is in charge of 'logistics' for TIMO teams in Africa. That means that when they are coming he sets up where they going to live, deals with the diplomatic relations with the towns where they are going to be, and sets up (and implements) contingency plans for getting them out in a moments notice if the need arise.

Paul spent pretty much all of his life in Africa. His parents were missionaries before him. He was raised on the mission field and then went back as an adult on his own. You don't have to know Paul very long before you realize how deep his roots are embedded in Africa and how much love he has for the country and it's people. He IS African. They are HIS people.

When you see Paul he is about 5 feet tall and looks fairly harmless. That is EXTREMELY deceiving. He is actually 10 feet tall and bullet proof. Over the course of the two weeks that we spent with him Tim and I both became convinced that there was not a situation that Paul couldn't talk and joke himself out of. On one trip from Tanzania into Kenya we were pulled over by the police. This is very common over there, although somewhat unsettling as an American as they are all heavily armed standing by the side of the road ready to wave you over. The common practice is to bribe them and go on your way. However, AIM has a policy that they will not bribe the police. What the police do is call you to the back of your vehicle so that you can show them what you are transporting. Then they say "and what do you have for me". That is the (subtle) hint at a bribe. Well Paul said : "I have for you the good news of Jesus Christ". The police officer instantly got irritated and said "go on go". But Paul insisted he asked "Do you know what the good news of the Gospel is, do you know what Jesus has done for you". By now the very exasperated police officer yelled "get in your car just go". And we were on our way!!

In another situation we were not going to be allowed back into Kenya from the Sudan because we had not gotten our yellow fever shots. Paul talked us out of that one. Then when there was no plane to fly us from Loki, Kenya to Nairobi Paul somehow talked them into using a cement carrying airplane to carry us to Nairobi!! We watched them as they put the seats in the plane. As we got on the plane the pilot was shaking his head. He wasn't even sure how he had been talked into this! And those are just a couple of examples.

This is a picture of Paul fixing my sandal. When we were visiting a town in the Sudan it rained. I was wearing flip flops. At one point my flip flop got stuck in the mud and the bottom became disconnected from the top. I did not know what I was going to do. We were in the middle of nowhere and I had no interest in walking around the town in the rain in bare-feet! Well Paul took my sandal and with a small piece of wire and a rubber band fixed it. When he couldn't talk himself out of something he just fixed it.

The Tanners are home on furlough so this afternoon on their way from Pennsylvania to New York they stopped by for lunch. We got to spend roughly 3 hours with them before it was time to say goodbye and send them on their way. I don't know when we will see them again. We talk about visiting Africa again, taking our kids back. We talk about keeping in touch, but reality is we live in Hawthorne, NJ and they live in Tanzania Africa.

My prayer is often "even so Lord Jesus come". Dealing with a sin sick world gets tiring, old. Eternity in Heaven is definitely something I anticipate more and more every day. These days one of the big draws is knowing that I will see Paul Tanner there. I do believe that his glorified body will be 10 feet tall, he IS a spiritual giant. And there we will not have to say goodbye.

Quote of the day

2010-02-26T18:38:00.003-05:00

"Daddy there's snow all over your blow snower" _ Rodney

No winter lasts forever; no spring skips its turn. ~Hal Borland

in honor of Valentines Day...

2010-02-16T10:42:00.002-05:00

"The truth about love, I think, is that it is indeed a profound comfort, but it is also a monumental challenge. Love immediately challenges me to break the fixation I have with myself." - John Powell

ouch

2010-02-12T11:01:00.002-05:00

I run. I don't know if I would say "I'm a runner". I'm slow, I don't race. I run. It relieves my stress, works out the kinks. It is what makes the world make sense. Sometimes when I am running I think things through. Sometimes when I am running outside rather than on a treadmill in a crowded gym I will actually talk things through out loud. Most of the time I don't. I focus on each footstep, I listen to my breathing. I listen to big hair 80's rock and roll. Doesn't matter, the effect is the same. At the end of a good run I feel like superwoman, and I'm relaxed and ready to take on the world.

About four weeks ago I hurt myself. Kind of a stupid rookie mistake. I did a hard sprint workout on a Wednesday followed by an 8 mile run on a Thurs. My legs were sore after the sprint workout. That is to be expected. My legs were KILLING me after the 8 miler, again not entirely unexpected. WHat was unexpected was that the pain wouldn't go away. I was sure that a couple of days off running would help. Any other pain that my running has caused in the last 10 years has gone away with a couple of days cross training. This didn't.

Three weeks of not running later, I was at my wits end and decided to see a doctor. Turns out I have shin splints...or strained a muscle...or something. Who cares? Looks I am looking at at least another couple of weeks of not running. I know those of you who don't run are thinking; "whats the big deal? do something else for exercise". Those of you who do run....thank you for understanding.

You have probably heard the quote "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional". I have felt pain before. Now I am suffering.

Out of the mouth of babes.....

2010-02-01T14:49:00.002-05:00

Sitting in church service last night we started singing "Mighty to Save" by Hillsong. Kaity who was sitting in church with me full of enthusiasm broke into singing during the chorus: "Savior He can move the mountains, MY God is mighty to save He is mighty to save........"

Yes He is Kaity, yes He is. <

Experience

2010-01-27T16:48:00.002-05:00

"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God do you learn.

-C. S. Lewis

Happy New Years

2010-01-04T08:45:00.003-05:00

New Years. Frankly, I tend to find it pretty depressing. A friend of mine put it fairly well when she said "it's like a birthday but without presents". It's just a stark reminder that another year of your life is now behind you. Forces you to reflect back. If it was a good year, you are sad to see it go, if it was a bad year...you're just sad. Plus, at least when I "celebrate" a birthday it's in May so around the corner is June...summer....fun in the sun...etc. When I "celebrate" the New Years all I have to look forward to is January and February. yuck.

2009 was not a banner year. New President, new policies, new economy, new worries, new struggles ....and as always marching constantly closer to my inevitable mid-life crisis. Here is hoping 2010 shapes up a little better.

FOr the most part I don't 'do' resolutions. Why 'resolve' to do something? Way to start the new year by setting yourself up for failure. I figure either do something or don't. I confess I am approaching this year a little differently. I think partly because last year was not a great year, I am ready to put it in the history books. If I want 2010 to be better I think that I am going to take a more pro-active approach. Rather than assuming that life is going to happen to more, I am going to work to get what I want out of this year. Do you suppose that if I am more disciplined I will find life less overwhelming and out of my control? Perhaps if I make time to have a quiet time I will wonder less why my relationship with God seems to be stagnating. Hmmm....time will tell.

One of my resolutions is to blog more. Shouldn't be hard to succeed there since I think I blogged roughly 6 times last year. But my kids are growing up soo fast (*sniffles*) and more of that has to be documented and reflected on before it slips away. So ....for starters....here is the birdhouse that my gorgeous goose made with her father this long Holiday weekend. Do you think she had a good time? :-) I will have to upload more pics later because it's not really done...it's going to be pink.

Thank You Paige

2009-10-07T14:04:00.003-04:00

This is 4 year old Paige Bennethum saying good-bye to her daddy before he leaves for deployment to Iraq. I guess more accurately this is Paige Bennethum NOT saying goodbye to her daddy.

I have a four year old. She doesn't like daddy going to work in the morning. She REALLy doesn't like it if daddy goes away for the weekend. So I wanted to take the time to say "thank-you" to Paige, thank-you Paige's mommy. We DO understand your sacrifice, we understand what you are fighting for and you have our undying appreciation. You also have our daily prayers for your daddy's safety.

Kaity's first day of school

2009-09-18T07:32:00.003-04:00

Yes you read that collection my sweet baby girl is starting school. *sighs*. Well Pre-K home-schooling.
But when you are the mother of said sweet, baby girl. That is starting school. She has been asking me about going to school since she was 2. Ever since then she has been counting the years, thats right counting the years until she was five and could go to school.

Needless to say she is a LOT more excited about this change in her life than I was! I actually had to put school off for about a week because her curriculum books had not arrived by the time that I had told her we would start, this did NOT go over well. We have been going for a week now and every day I have to come up with more work for her to do because there is no way that she is ready to be done by the time that we are done going through what the curriculum says we are supposed to cover for that day. Now granted the curriculum isn' t quite as ambitious as I was thinking it was going to be. IN the first SIX weeks of her math curriculum I am supposed to teach her how to count to 10 and how to write the number one. (woah). IN the second SIX weeks I am supposed to teach her how to count to 20 and how to write the number two. Now to be fair writing the number two is tricky for a four year old, but somehow I think we might be able to cover that in twelve weeks of trying since she already knows how to count to 29. After 29 she thinks it's 100. I'll deal with that week 13 of school.

As for me, I don't deal with change well. I can hear the gasps now coming from those who have known me for so long and are shocked to hear that. I don't deal with my kids growing up well, and well I am not a very organized, routine oriented person. I know some shocking revelations this morning but honesty is the best policy and I have heard that admitting you have a problem is the first step towards fixing said problem.

It has been fun. It is exciting to see the passion she has for learning, oh how I pray that I can help her keep that passion for learning. We have been learning Bible verses as part of her Bible curriculum. If you are a parent I can NOT stress enough how much I wish that I had started this with her earlier. Being able to memorize something and quote it back to me is something that I always assumed she would find frustrating and something that we would do 'later'. Well it is one of her favorite parts of school. It is so tangible for her, when she quotes back a verse to me from memory she knows that she has really learned something that she didn't know before. She can rattle it off to anyone that she happens to come across in her life and thereby show them that she has learned something. In doing so she has effectively taught her brother her memory verse. So now I know that I am at least two years later teaching her scripture memorization than I could have been.

Oh well, no looking back we move forward. So the next time you see one of my kids, ask them what Genesis 1:1 says. You won't be sorry. :-)

Have YOU forgotten?

2009-09-11T10:11:00.002-04:00

"They say, time heals everything. But I'm still waiting.".

Where is my mission field?

2009-06-15T17:23:00.004-04:00

This post could also be titled "African Mission Trip Part II". OR "somewhere in the middle"

Tim and I went to Africa to work with TIMO. It's a mission that places teams with un-reached people groups on the continent of Africa. We went because we were both feeling like God was possibly calling us to full time ministry and some doors opened for us to visit Africa. Before we went we prayed that God would make His will clear to us before we came home, and we prayed that Tim and I would both be on the same page. I couldn't imagine much harder than one of us flying home wondering how soon we could get back and the other flying home wondering how we could ever face going back.

God answered our prayers....my fingers are aching to write "sort of". But that would be unfair and blatantly untrue. God answered our prayers. Flying home we both felt that God had made it clear to us that we were not being called to the ministry in Africa we thought we were being called to. Both of us....same answer. Isn't that what we prayed? Then why is the answer so hard to accept? Honestly because it's not the answer we expected or really wanted to hear. We both went on the short term trip assuming that all was going to fall into place for us to go back full time as soon as possible.

So now we are back to my original question. Where is the mission field that God is calling us to? Something that God seemed to talk to both of us about while we were in Africa was that we were not doing enough HERE. In a lot of ways Africa is a far more open country to hearing about the word of God than the USA is. In a town meeting we went to they opened with "WE greet you in the name of our wonderful Savior Jesus Christ", THAT would NEVER happen here. In a lot of ways I think we have found more effective ways of sharing the gospel with the un-reached in Africa than we have of sharing with 'over-reached' here.

Here's the problem. For me personally, sharing the gospel seemed a lot easier over there.

So what now? I don't know. I wish I did. We are back in the United States and back to working and living and I sooo don't want to find that we have put our hands to the plow and then turned back, I don't want to have "reckless abandon wrapped in common sense".

Have you heard Casting Crowns song "somewhere in the middle"?

Somewhere between my heart and my hands

Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle

Do you ever feel like a song was written for RIGHT where YOU are in life?

Sacredness and Land Mines

2009-05-18T20:09:00.002-04:00

Sudan was an interesting place. I am sure you will get a fuller idea of my picture of it over various posts but for now what I thought was an interesting conversation.

We were driving from Torit to Ikitos it's a 6o mile trip that takes about 2 1/2 hours because of the condition of the road. Driving the land-rover that we were in was Dr. Phil Byer. He is the regional leader for Timo in the Souther Sudan. On the drive we commented on how beautiful some of the mountains around us looked. They weren't too high or imposing, just high enough to give you the "I wonder what's on the other side" itch. I could see myself spending a lot of Sunday afternoons picking a different one to climb. I mentioned this and was told that Phil had put a strict moratorium on all mountain climbing across the board to anyone on his teams. We asked him why and he said "....well sacredness and the land mines".

Earlier that year a TIMO team had decided to take a hike, they had some locals with them. When they came back down from the mountain they were immediately arrested by local law enforcement. The Sudanese who were with them were beaten, and the Americans spent a week in a Sudanese prison before the local church leaders could convince the police to let them go.

In the Sudan there is NO concept of hiking for fun. Life is frankly too tough, they work hard enough to eke out a living. The idea of doing something physically strenuous during ones "free time" is not something that they could nearly comprehend. So they assume that any one doing so would be looking to exploit their land or desecrate their holy places.

And then in the Sudan there is the ever present fear of land mines from the last civil war that was fought against the North. The road that we traveled from Torit was riddled with evidence. You did not drive more than a few miles without seeing a truck by the side of the road that had obviously at one point fallen victim to a land mine or an attack. You are given STRICT instructions to under NO circumstances go off the road for ANY reason. The road itself has been cleared of land mines but the area around it has not been.

We thinking sharing the gospel can be tough in THIS country--when we DON"T have to content with land mines and sacredness. !!

I'm leaving on a jet plane....

2009-04-20T14:53:00.002-04:00

Well this is it. It's really here. Tomorrow afternoon I am going to be getting on a plane for a 22 hour trip to Tanzania Africa. I can't begin to share the excitement, and anxiety I am feeling. We have a pretty good idea of what our itinerary is going to be when we get there which makes it nice to prepare, but at the same time there can be no doubt that there will be so much that we are unprepared for. IT is a culture and a language that we have NO familiarity with and although we have been told and are trying to just focus on the two weeks before us, you really can't stop yourself from thinking that we are doing this in order to prepare for possibly spending a lot longer portion of our lives here, for raising our kids here. What are you looking for in a country and culture when you are wondering if this can be 'home'.?

Please keep us in your prayers, keep our babies in your prayers the thought of leaving them is becoming unbearable.

Alright well since in just about 24 hours I am going to be getting on a plane I think that I should probably go and start thinking about packing...

Oh come on don't act surprised anyone who knows me had to know that I hadn't packed yet.

The Point of No Return...

2009-04-06T15:07:00.004-04:00

All right the title is a litttle dramatic but after a lot of talk and discussion and prayer, it is weird to have hard evidence that this trip to Africa is going to happen. WE bought our tickets this morning!!! There is no turning back...We are leaving April 21st and returning May 5th. We are flying into Mt. Kilimanjaro airport.

We will be spending the first few days to a week in En Gedi. The Timo-aim headquarters in Tanzania. That will give us time to learn all about how Timo works and to get our bodies adjusted to Africa time. They are 8 hours ahead of us and our flight to get there is about 22 hours all told so I am thinking they know what they are doing when they don't throw us right into working!

After that, there were several options as to where we would be going for the actual work site but it is looking like we are going to be going into Southern Sudan. Our missions pastor said it was 'interesting' to fly into the airport in Southern Sudan because you fly in going up the mountain to slow the plane down and you leave the airport flying downhill to get up enough speed for flight! I am thinking interesting might be the understatement of the year!

Our goal while we are there is to get as far as we can in building accommodations for a timo missionary who will be living there full time to minister to the people of Southern Sudan.

I can't begin to tell you how exciting it is to even THINK about being a part of something like this!

THe two weeks by themselves are exciting enough and for most of us a once in a lifetime opportunity. But for me and Tim as we look around to see if maybe this is something that we are looking to commit to long term the stakes go even a little higher!

The hardest part right now is thinking of leaving my kids stateside while we go over there. We have never been away from them for more than two NIGHTS at at time and now we are looking at two WEEKS!

Alright well....keep us in your thoughts and prayers PLEASE...we leave two weeks from tomorrow.!!!! TANZANIA HERE WE COME.

Rome is burning!! hmmm...where did I put my fiddle...

2009-03-09T14:41:00.003-04:00

Two hundred years ago, Thomas Jefferson said: "To compel a man to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors, is sinful and tyrannical."

"President Obama on Monday signed an order to life restrictions on federal funding for embryonic stem cell research, a move he said rejects the "false choice" between science and morality"

"Warren Buffet says the economy has 'fallen off a cliff"

I am SURE that allowing federal funding for stem cell research is definitely what we need to get the economy going!

Beantown

2009-02-19T12:16:00.003-05:00

Every year my mom and my sister go away for a girl's weekend away. Usually, Ok pretty much every year we go to Lancaster, PA for shopping. WE go to the outlet stores and find all the local consignment shops. Well this year we decided to do something different and we headed to Boston, MA for the weekend. Why we didn't head south I am not sure I will ever understand, but for some reason we thought it would make sense to head North towards colder weather.

What a great weekend. We stayed in the Hilton which is a beautiful hotel. For Friday and Saturday we bought trolley passes to get around Boston. It was perfect. Our tour guides were great, very informative and it was a great way to see Boston. We hopped off when there was something we wanted to see, or when we suspected that their might be a consignment shop near by, then we hopped back on to learn more about the great history of that town.

We had some GREAT seafood. For the record an 'oyster shot' is not a clever way to sell you one raw oyster. It actually involves beer...and a LOT of hot sauce. Do NOT recommend. However, the actual raw oysters were delicious....you know the ones without the Sam Adams and tabasco sauce. I am not sure that the lack of that stuff made it more appealing to my sister who still shuddered every time I put one of them in my mouth but I thought they were delicious.

We found a 'tapas' bar with $5 tapas, and a consignment shop with $12.50 red coach shoes in MY size!!

We sat in the hot top, watched chick flicks and just generally had a great time. ....till next year ladies....Saratoga perhaps?

Remembering Mom-Mom

2009-01-23T13:33:00.004-05:00

My Mom-Mom passed away Janurary 17th, 2009. Wednesday was her funeral. Growing up in South America I never had the kind of relationship with my Mom-Mom that my cousins had who grew up living right by her. My mom's relationship with her parents was often strained as well so there was also that dynamic added to our relationship. That being said, you can not deny the legacy that has been left by my Mom-Mom and to be honest with you family legacy means a lot to me. I care about what has come before that has made me and my life what it is, and I care deeply about what we leave behind to our kids. Speaking of legacy I get THAT from my mother. She has always mentioned how important it is to her what she be remembered for, and that she wants to be remembered.

I think that is why my Mom-Mom's funeral had such an impact on me. I remember the last time I saw my Mom-Mom alive. It was a couple of months ago, I went down with my mom and my sister and based on her health we knew then that there was a good possibility that it would be the last time we would see her. She was soo happy to see us and she referred to me and my sister as the 'grand-babies'. That took me off guard. I have kids of my own now. I have made my parents grand-parents and I can tell you that I had not thought of myself as being a 'grand baby' for a LONG time.

The funeral service was beautiful and so well done. There was a time given for testimonies and there were plenty of people who came up to speak about the impact that Grace English had on their lives. There were plenty more who would not speak because they knew that they could never get through it without breaking down in tears. My Mom-Mom was feisty. A week or so before the funeral my own mom for the first time heard the song " I hope you dance" By Lee Ann Womack. She mentioned after the funeral that the song definitely applied to my grandmother. She sometimes had to fight in order to get out on the dance floor of life, sometimes the song she danced to was a sad song, but let me tell you I don't think she ever looked at the choice to sit it our or dance and chose to sit it out. She was truly a 'dancer'. It's something she has instilled in my mother and my mother is doing her best to instill in her own children. I still haven't worked up the courage to go line dancing with my mother, but I am fairly certain she's not done asking. ;-)

The service ended with a clear salvation message. My Mom-Mom is in heaven, she would want everyone she knew to be able to join her there some day. She'll still be dancing.

One of the songs we sang was especially poignant to me. "Because He Lives". It is obviously very fitting for a funeral service. The final verse says "And then one day I'll cross the river. I'll fight lives final war with pain, and then as death gives way to victory I'll see the lights of glory and I'll know He lives".

Mom-Mom has fought her final war with pain, she HAS seen the light of glory. What struck me was the verse we sing right before that "How sweet to hold a new born baby, to feel the joy and pride he gives, yet sweeter still the sweet assurance this child can face uncertain days because He lives".

It's almost like the author was dealing with my own 'circle of life' thoughts while he wrote the song. Old ones die, new are born. What is important doesn't change "Because He Lives".

What legacy are we leaving? When our children and grandchildren sift through what we have left behind? Will they want to follow in our footsteps? Will they long to 'dance'? Will they 'find us faithful'? Will their lives 'be worth the living just because He lives?".

My dad prayed at the funeral. In his prayer he mentioned that we don't necessarily think about Heaven as often as we do, but we do think about it at funerals. That made me think about my daughter because she is obsessed with Heaven. She is constantly asking questions about what it is going to be like there, always asking when we get to go there....always. This is something that she is anxiously awaiting. Thinking of Kaity made me a little sad because sometimes you mourn as much for what you didn't as for what you did. I don't know that she has ever met my Mom-Mom. Also, I know how important my parents are in the lives of my children and it made me sad that I never had that with my grandparents and "now I never will" I thought to myself. But you know what? That's not true and that's the beauty of Heaven. Some day Kaity and I both will cross the river and we will have the rest of eternity to continue our relationship with Mom-Mom. Why? Because He Lives.

This is Tanzania

2009-01-14T11:26:00.008-05:00

As some of you know, and some of you don't. My husband and I are considering the possibility of going to Tanzania, Africa as missionaries.

God has been working in our hearts for a little over 6 months and at this point we are praying that God would show us open doors and closed doors and give us the grace to accept them for what they are. We would have to sell our house, which is not nearly the easiest thing thing to do these days. But we are fully confident that we are proceeding following God's call and He will work things out according to HIs perfect plan regardless of where that has us living a year from now.

It's kind of a cool story about how God brought me and Tim both to this place in our lives, some parts of our story are intertwined, in some cases we were both on our path completely alone getting to this point, and yet here we both are ready to go to Africa and terrified and exhilarated at what comes next.

Tim is in Mississippi right now on a completely different missions trip and when he comes back we will be getting serious about planning a two week trip to Tanzania to get the lay of the land, sort of see what our role would be and kind of feel out if it is going to be a good fit.

With all this in the works I thought I would find some things out about Tanzania. Can you believe how beautiful the pictures are??!?!?

I also found out the population is about 38 million. They are 30% Christian, 35% muslim and 35% "indigenous beliefs". Zanzibar which is next door is 99% muslim. The age structure is 43.7% 0-14 yrs., 53.6% is 15-64 yrs., 6.2% 65+. The life expectancy rate is 45.64 years so it makes sense that they are a fairly young society. The HIV/AIDS rate is 1.6 million or 8.8% of the population.

They are also considered to be one of the most stable countries in Africa with very little internal conflict or problems with it's neighbors which was encouraging to hear about the country I am considering raising my children in!

I hope you will come along with us on this journey. We will need all the prayers that we can possibly gather not only if we go but even on this side as we make our decisions.

More to come......

Thought for the day...

2009-01-03T20:02:00.003-05:00

For every un-reached people group in the world there are 6 HUNDRED churches in this country.

What's a meme?

2008-12-13T13:21:00.004-05:00

OK so I am new at this blogging thing.....but apparently I was 'tagged' in someone's blog and I am supposed to 'tag' HER in mine...and do a meme thing? Whatever...I'm game.

6 Things I Value: My engagement ring. OK...I KNOW how materialistic and 'shallow' that might sound when others are writing things like ...."faith' but the word 'value' actually has a definition and part of it is what is something worth to YOU vs. what they are worth to the rest of the world. If someone came up to me today and offered me 10x what my engagement ring appraised for in order to buy it from me, I would turn them down without considering the offer. I value it for all that it represents.

silence. Say what you want you try going without it for a couple of days...then see how high it is on the list of things YOU value!

honesty: I cant' stand being lied to

faith, certainty, world peace, my health.

Those are not listed in order of what I value most to the least...just written down.

6 Things I Support:

Missions!

My local community blood center-easiest way in the world to save a life and give something back

my local pregnancy resource center "Don't tell them Jesus loves them till you're ready to love them too"

recycling

locally grown produce

BUY AMERICAN "Might as well if not it's going to cost you $25 billion PLUS the cost of your subaru!)

6 Things I do NOT support:

People collecting money in cans (or fireman's boots) at intersections. (!!!!!)

Amnesty for illegals

Government bailout of Wall St.

Philosophies that 'save the trees and kill the children'

"tolerance" for tainted truth or un-biblical values and standards in a church

my local bagel shop...(it's time for them to catch up to the times & start taking credit cards.)

Alright that's it....my first 'meme' still don't know what that means or what it is....but hopefully my first was not a complete failure.

thanks for the memories....

2008-12-02T15:14:00.009-05:00

A couple of weeks ago I was taking out boxes of books from my attic to put out on some new bookshelves we bought. After 6 years of living in this house we thought maybe it was time to finish unpacking. Well one of the boxes that we dragged down down from the attic turned out to not be books but rather a box of memories. It had my old year books in it (yikes!). It had letters from old friends and old boyfriends, it had things like the number I wore when I ran the NYC marathon, my finishing certificate. Isn't it amazing what a box of memories can bring back? I found a thank-you note in there from my old high-school principle from when I had done devotions. An old high-school paper I had written that had notes on it from my favorite teacher telling me that it was one of the best papers he had ever read. It was unbelievable how some things so forgotten for so long could be brought back so vividly. I definitely recommend keeping a box of memories, even what you are sure is going to be insignificant can be fun to look through 10-15 years down the road when life is so different from where it was! By far the most fun was the pictures. I will try to control myself and not post ALL of them..but some of them must be shared.

Me BEFORE the marathon.....

This was November of 2000. For those of you who don't know, you start the NYC on Staten Island, and you have to be there several hours before the marathon starts. Fortunately for me my sister had a friend who was a coast guard stationed on Staten Island the year that I ran the marathon so I got to hang out in his room (and have my sister with me) while I was anxiously waiting for the start of 26.2 miles as opposed to out in the freezing cold with most others. This is me AFTER the 26.2 miles. Again for those of you who don't know that is a STUPID long distance to try to cover on foot. I can't take this opportunity (well shouldn't) to share all the memories that going through the photos brought to me but it really is funny how looking at a picture can take you back to that point in time. I remember how I felt, physically, emotionally, everything. Something I could not have really remembered enough to talk to you about the day before is back with stunning clarity.

This is me and my sister at my brother's wedding in May 2001. My sister is all dressed up in silver because she was asked to be part of the wedding party...one of my brother's grooms..women? Was I asked, you ask?? Noo.....but that's OK....I'm not holding on to bitterness after all these years.....;-)

These are two of me on a vacation to Punta Cana, Dominican Republic...sadly I don't remember the year....02 or 03. Scuba diving and swimming with dolphins. Scuba diving is still something that I would describe as a life-changing experience. You dive into the water, worried about being able to breathe through the machine they give you, worried about remembering all the instructions you were given and all of a sudden you look around and you are in a whole new world!! We were surrounded by gorgeous fish and beautiful plant life. I don't know when I have ever been in more awe of God's creation than I was then. I mean it's like He didn't just create one world. He created several. There is our world, then there is outer space, then there is deep ocean can you imagine the creativity and imagination of our Creator God? Ok. I know it's a rabbit trail but I heard something the other day that struck me. How recently have people started exploring the ocean? Especially the deep ocean? There are depths we may never get to, animals we may never see with human eyes? Do you know what that means? That means that some things were created simply for GOD to enjoy? How cool is that? SOMEDAY I am going to do it again. A life dream of mine now is to get certified and go scuba diving as often as I possibly can.

Some memories were more poignant than others. I found pictures of me with ex-boyfriends.

THIS is my first love Matt. I also found some old diaries. I am SUCH a girl!! It was funny reading through those. Have you ever heard Garth Brooks' song "Unanswered prayers"? The main line is "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers, remember when your talking to the man upstairs that just because He doesn't answer doesn't mean He don't care. Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". I don't usually take my philosophy from Garth Brook songs..honestly. But I think he might be on to something here. ;-) Looking back I can honestly tell you I don't think that I would do things all that differently. Matt played a big part in my life, he was a piece of the puzzle, or yarn that is forming into the larger picture or tapestry of my life...BUT he broke my heart.

I read through part of the diary and it was fairly ironic all these years laer, parts of it. I talk at one point about having Matt call me talking about getting together, and another friend Mark coming to see me in the city to take me to a Broadway play, and about going out with Tim. I follow that up with " you would think that I had a very full social calendar and would never worry about being alone but I don't see it really going anywhere with any of those guys! (HA!). My last entry was the one that got me though. There was almost a quarter of the diary left so I would guarantee you that I did not know at the time that I wrote it that it would be my last entry but I said "what a difference a year makes, aren't I glad that I am not the one ultimately in charge". Have truer words ever been said? I can tell you looking back now that "what a difference 10 years make, aren't I glad that I am not the one ultimately in charge."

Post election thoughts.

2008-11-05T19:50:00.001-05:00

ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO ENTER HERE....

Election Day 2008.......

2008-11-04T18:50:00.002-05:00

Aesop: "We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office"

Some thoughts on what will go down as a historic day in our history.

Elie Wiesel : "It may well be that our means are fairly limited and our possibilities restricted when it comes to applying pressure on our government. But is this a reason to do nothing? Despair is not an answer. Neither is resignation. Resignation only leads to indifference, which is not merely a sin but a punishment."

Romans 13:1 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. (ESV)

Daniel 2:21 He changes times and seasons: he removes kings and sets up kings; he gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding;

2 Chronicles 7:14 If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

Franklin Roosevelt " An election cannot give a country a firm sense of direction if it has two or more national parties which merely have different names but are as alike in their principles and aims as two peas in the same pod. "

In his recent appearance at Rick Warren's Saddleback church Warren asked Obama: "Now lets deal with abortion. 40 million abortions since Roe v Wade. You know, as a pastor I have to deal with this all the time. All of the pain and all of the conflicts. I know this is a very complex issue. 40 million abortions (that is 1 in 3 pregnancies; 1 in 17 end in partial birth abortions) At what point does a baby get human rights in your view?"

Obama responded : "Well I think that whether you are looking at it from a theological perspective or a scientific perspective, answering that question with specificity, you know is above my pay grade."

Psalm 139: 13-15 For you formed by inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My from was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

Psalm 63:9 But those who seek to destroy my life shall go down into the depths of the earth;

" A government big enough to give you everything you want , is strong enough to take everything you have" Gerald Ford

Out of the mouth of babes.....

2008-10-27T14:11:00.004-04:00

I went to the gym t his morning because I had an appointment with a personal trainer. When I went to pick up the kids from 'tot drop' ( I LOVE the Wyckoff Y) the woman who was working there asked me "do you go to church". I frankly didn't think much of the question I had rushed my kids out of God's Little Singers in order to make it there on time so I thought that maybe that had come up with Kaity. I just answered "yes". She asked "what church do you go to" to which I responded "Hawthorne Gospel Church on 208". She told me that they had been watching "Sleeping Beauty" and the witch had come on the mirror and Kaity had told her "she is NOT being nice and God tells us that we are always supposed to be nice to everyone". How cool is that? My 3 1/2 year old is unabashedly sharing what God's word says when she finds things in life that contradict it. WHY do we feel the need to lose that? I can tell you that it once again brought to mind Matthew 18:3 where Jesus says "Truly I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (ESV)

My heart almost aches with how much I hope that my children never do. We had a guest speaker come to our church last Sunday to speak about missions. Tod Ahrend. He was AMAZING. I grew up as a missionary kid and this sermon was the best I have ever heard on missions. I don't know that you could away unchanged after that message. One of the things that got to me the most was him talking about his wife putting their year and a half old daughter to bed and having family devotion time with her first. He gave us a glimpse into what the prayer time looked like. That 'glimpse' was an impassioned prayer "the world is waiting for you' the mother prayed about her daughter. She prayed that her daughter would 'fall in love' with muslim women and be willing to 'live behind the veil' in order to reach them. How many of us would be 'willing' to see our children go off and do that? Let alone be praying for them since BIRTH that that would be the life that they would choose because reaching people for the Lord is THAT important? I can tell you that my prayers for Kaity HAVE changed since hearing that sermon. In complete honestly I can tell you that I am not nearly ready to pray that her life would lead her 'behind the veil'. Maybe someday I'll get there, she may get there without me. But I have prayed every day since October 19th that she would have a passion for winning souls for Christ and telling them about God. I'd really like to think that this morning was God's way of telling me He's hearing my prayers.

Here is a link to a youtube video of Tod Ahrend. It's not the message he gave at HGC but it's still powerful and still shows his passion.

I'm NOT as dumb as you think I am CONGRESS!!

2008-10-02T14:19:00.002-04:00

I am soo tired of being treated like your average working American is significantly dumber than our congress men and woman! Yes, I think that we can agree that for alot of us money had gotten tighter and we were not enjoying the prosperity that maybe we had been fora few years. Of course for a LONG time we were told that the sky was falling because of high oil prices...and at that it was surprising that they were willing to take a break from telling us that the sky was falling because of global warming. And now of course it is the housing bubble and credit freeze (??) that is going to bring destruction down on all of us. I mean if you are going to preach the apocalypse would it kill you to pick WHAT it is that is going to bring about the end of the world and stick to it? Trying to keep track of what it is that I am supposed to be terrified of this week is getting exhausting.

However, after the government had to step in to Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and Lehman Brothers went bankrupt, suddenly oil prices are no longer a concern (kind of a shame because it's down to $95 a barrel). The government had to come in riding on it's white horse and save us all from certain disaster. It had to be done NOW, I mean if we didn't have the bailout bill passed in two days......wait...what WAS going to happen? I forget....fairly certain the sun still rose this morning because the earth is still rotating around it. The American people HATE this plan...they called their representatives in numbers RARELY if ever seen in this country to tell them to absolutely NOT vote for this bill. Many did not. The media roasted them for 'pandering' because they were concerned about being re-elected. THEY SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT BEING RE-ELECTED IF THEY VOTE IN A WAY THAT THE PEOPLE THEY REPRESENT DISAPPROVE OF". There is a reason why they call them 'representatives' they are supposed to represent US when they vote. How dare they do what we told them to? Of course the overwhelming implication (when it was merely implied rather than said out loud) is that we are dumb. We don't understand the bill--THAT is why we don't want them voting for it. If it was presented to us more CLEARLY...if we UNDERSTOOD the ramifications...yadda yadda yadda. Of course the people who live in their bizarre little political world in D.C. who haven't lived on 'Main Street' in years if ever OH so clearly are better equipped to tell us what we like and don't like and what we want to see happen and don't want to see happen.

Here is something I want to be clear about and I think I can say it with certainty. I UNDERSTAND THE BILL, I UNDERSTAND THE RAMIFICATIONS OF PASSING OR NOT PASSING THE BILL AND (congress are you listening) I STILL DON'T WANT IT TO PASS.

I think that the bill is BAD for America. I think that a market correction will be tough on America but we are a tough country. If we can survive 9/11 we can survive a housing bubble letting some air out, we can survive the residual effects of what greed did to some areas of the economy. We CAN not and WILL not survive the LARGEST EVER intervention of the government into the private sector and survive as a free market economy.

You can look at what happened in Japan in the 90's. The politicians there tried to artificially prop up a real estate bubble, it led to a decade of economic stagnation. I believe that what happened in the 1930's when the government raised taxes and spending turned a stock market crash into the Great Depression.

I don't care how often it is told to me on TV that they are not 'rewarding' anyone on Wall St. but merely trying to protect those innocent bystanders living on Main Street. The free market works because people benefit from making wise decisions. You or I are anyone can live the American Dream. FIgure out how to provide a good or service either a new one or an old one cheaper or better than someone else and you can be rich. Of course there is a downside. You might not make it, your decision might not be as good as you thought it was and you could lose money and go bankrupt. Same thing with people merely investing their money. If you pick a good company your money becomes MORE money. If you pick a bad company or make a bad choice you can lose money. Quite often the higher the risk the greater the return if it succeeds. Most of us have to balance how risky we are willing to be when we invest our money. If you win money if you make good choices but get bailed out if you make poor decisions. Why would you EVER make the safe investment choice? If you don't believe me ...look at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac or study the savings and loan failures from the late 1980's and see what happens when profits are privatized but losses are socialized.

Let's also not forget that the people who we are looking to to fix the problem CAUSED the problem. By lowering interest rates too low, by giving people mortgages they could not afford by the "Community Reinvestment Act" which told banks to give loans to people with no or poor credit. Even when the government was warned about the dangers at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac they denied anything was wrong. Largely because their hands were in those companies pockets. They had a MAJOR interest in how those companies did....now we want to give them that same amount of involvement in ALL of our financial institutions and think that somehow this will make things BETTER...LESS corrupt? Sorry Congress...I understand why all that would greatly benefit YOU...I understand that there is something for YOU to gain in making government larger than it has ever been...in having a personal interest in all of the financial workings of the greatest economy in the world, I know that you would LOVE to sell me that this is what MY FAMILY needs....but I 'm just not that dumb.

Best Grammy EVER!

2008-10-01T18:06:00.012-04:00

NO attempt to chronicle the important going ons in my children's life would nearly be complete without telling of the shopping trip that Kaity recently went on with Grammy and Myia.

I don't know how or when my mom came up with the idea....but she did and followed through in no time at all. She found out when she could take a couple of days off of work in a row, booked a hotel room and they were ON their way.

Don't get me wrong I TRIED to talk Kaity out of going...oh I tried (knowing I would fail). I asked her every day if she was SURE that she wouldn't just rather stay home with me (she was sure)....didn't she think that she was going to miss me too much (I'll miss you bu

t it's OK.). She VERY impatiently counted down the days till they were going saved her own money ($17) and bounced off with grammy without so much as a single look back at her mom who was/is pretty sure that her baby girl is WAY too young to be going off without her. They stayed in a hotel room, and watched t

v and ate 'junk food' (all food was junk food merely because it was being eaten while on the shopping trip with grammy). There was a pool in the hotel room and it was on THIS trip...under the supervision of GRAMMY (not her own mother who took her to a pool nearly every day this summmer...not that I'm bitter...much) that Kaity got over her aversion to putting her head under the water and did it over and over again.

They went to Hershey where Kaity from the picture below apparently got into some sort of altercation that required her to demand her union rep be called in to mediate.

I am just happy that SOME work was required of them after all the shopping and spoiling that was being done too them!

Oh did I mention the shopping? There was apparently quite a bit of that going on...Most of the outfits that were bought had to be matching. They also ate at Perkins quite a bit because according to Myia & Kaity "they know how to make the best pancakes".

Of course like everything else all good things must come to an end. So finally it was time to pack up their bags, put on some new clothes ...and head home. It's still all that Kaity will talk about. Every time she sees Grammy she asks her when they are going to go again. Today we decorated a piggy bank so that she has somewhere to put all the money that she is saving for the next time that she goes shopping with Grammy. She is particularly fussy about the clothes that they bought on the trip..Rodney can't pull on them, they can't get dirty, must be put away because "grammy says we have to take care of our clothes.". They have plans for this being at LEAST an annual event. I can only imagine the memories that will be formed over the years as I am still hearing all the memories of this one!

Thanks Grammy (mom to me). You really are the best!

You gotta bereave...

2008-09-25T13:14:00.003-04:00

The mets are now a game and a half behind the Phillies in the National League East and they are now tied for the wild card. Is is me, or is it hard to be a mets fan some years?

Lest we forget....

2008-09-11T14:03:00.003-04:00

7 years. That's a long time. I was 22. I had been married a little over a year, I had no kids. My life has changed a LOT in 7 years. I have changed a lot in 7 years. My priorites, my relationship with God, my goals, my dreams. Some things have not changed. I can't manage to put all my thoughts about 9/11 down in words. Writing is what I do. It's my coping mechanism. Most of my prayers I write rather than voicing. I have not put my thoughts about that day that as Bloomberg said "started out like any other, and ended like no other" on paper ever. I hadn't planned on it today. Here is the thing. This blog is called 'a living journal' for a reason. I see it as a memoir for my children. this morning I had the tv on and was observing the first moment of silence with tears streaming down my face. My son? playing on my bed with a tube of toothpaste really wanting me to open it for him. Oddly at 1 1/2 he wasn't all that affected by the tv coverage of the memorial. This day defined my generation. If that sounds overly dramatic I would have you try to argue the point. We had never been attacked, never really had a war that affected us, we lived our soft, self-centered, materialistic lives assuming that nothing would ever change that.

Everything changed. 7 years later it hurts like it did then, the anger swells when I see the images. Today like no other I hate that I no longer work in Manhattan. Somehow not being there makes me feel like I am an outsider looking in on someone else's grief. Like I am feeling pain in a wound that is not my own. I know that it touched the whole country. I understand that it was an attack on all of us, our beliefs, our security. It was different if you were a New Yorker. I am not going to write all my experiences that day or the days to come...over time maybe...other anniversaries. Just some of the things that I remember the starkest. I went to college in lower Manhattan. I remember the first day I went back to college. Several blocks up from the WTC site you could still smell the awful smell from there. I was walking toward my college building trying to cope with that and trying to assimilate that in some ways so soon after life was going back to 'normal' when I noticed something on a wall that I was coming up to--something that just seemd new and out of place. When I got there what it was was a wall full of pictures of 'missing' people. Most of them were attached to pieces of paper telling where this person had worked in the towers, when the last contact was made , and a contact number where someone who loved them could be reached if anyone had any information. There was this assumption right after that the hospitals would be overwhelmed with injured, those who couldn't identify themselves, or people would be dazed and wouldn't be able to find there way home. That just wasn't the case. Almost all of those pictures were of people who had perished. However, they remained for MONTHS as a sort of make-shift memorial.

I lost someone I knew. I had worked with him for a few months, we had actually gone out on a few dates before I met the man who is now my husband. He wasn't a Christian, he was still in college so it never went further than a couple of lunch dates but we stayed friends. He would always stop in on summers when he was home for college and a bunch of us would go out to lunch and catch up. I saw him August of 2001. He came in to Lazard because he was done with college and he was so excited because he had gotten a job at Cantor Fitzgerald in the WTC. Less than a month later he was dead. Do you know what kills me? I never ONCE shared my faith with him. I had chances. He knew that I was a Christian, he knew that because he wasn't was the main reason I wouldn't keep dating him. Because he knew that much I patted myself on the back for not being ashamed of my faith. After I heard that he was a victim it could not have been more clear to me how useless it was for him to know what MY faith was.

Well that is a part of where I was "When the world stopped turning". Today the pentagon is opening their memorial . It's time for New York to get on it. Were New Yorkers--were strong, we don't let people hold us down, it's time to replace the hole that has been left in Manhattan with something that like it's people is bigger and stronger than it was before.

In my mind I'm going to Carolina...

2008-09-06T17:34:00.004-04:00

I can NOT believe the summer is over. That my calendar is reading September 6th definitely seems a little hard to grasp. The summer was an amazing one. My kids are both at that priceless, precious age. They are both still so excited by so much of what they see around them, still easily pleased. There is NOTHING sweeter to me than looking in my rearview mirror in the van and seeing two kids who are sound asleep because they were just exhausted by a long day at the beach. Their still wet, salty hair clingy to their cheeks which are still rosy from the sun and exertion. The end of the summer was especially special. August 14th my sister flew in from Nashville and we headed down to Ocean City, NJ to spend time at "Grammy's beach house". Timmy took a long weekend and I stayed down for almost a week. It was so incredible. If you have read any of my blog you know how special Nonni is to Kaity. Well the week at the shore showed that the fascination was not lost on Rodney either. "Nonni" is now one of the words that he says...and often. Just today he was in the crib at my parents house trying to fall asleep and talking to himself and quite often one of the words you heard him say was "nonni". Too cute. I also realized that my daughter shares my love and passion for the ocean. She would be at the ocean every chance she was given, and in the water when she was in the ocean as much as she possibly could be. She would go in by herself with her boogie board and ride the waves, or be 'just like grammy' and put her beach chair right at the edge where the water could lap over her sit there.

Well I drove back from Ocean City Wed. Aug. 20th-spent the 21st doing laundry and re-packing everything because August 22nd we piled the whole family in the car and headed for the Outer Banks for North Carolina. ON the way down we stopped in Salisbury, MD for the night to break the trip up. We got a hotel with a pool so that the vacation memories could start right away. The next day we figured that we had about 3 to 3 1/2 hours until we got to our vacation destination. We WOULD have been right except that we had completely underestimated the traffic getting off and on the island. THe last 13 miles of our trip took us a little over 3 hours!! BUt we finally arrived.

The vacation was amazing. The house was beautiful. We had a private pool and hot tub in the back yard. Everything was new construction. From the deck looking one way you saw the ocean and looking the other way you saw the bay. On Sunday TIm's sister and her family arrived to share the house with them. We hadn't seen the whole family in a long time and it was the first time we had a chance to spend a significant amount of time with them. They were awesome. Kaity was in cousin heaven! The ocean was beautiful. I got to go ocean kayaking one day which was so much fun. Something that I really MUST try to make a habit of when given the chance.

One day when I went down the water was as rough as I have ever seen the ocean. Ironically, I can't tell you when I have ever felt more at peace than standing in water that as deep as my calves had the power to knock me over. I was overwhelmed by the scriptures that just flooded my mind standing there staring at this huge, swelling, churning mass of water. I thought about the disciples on the boat when Jesus calmed the storm. I thought of Heb 6:19 "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul firm and secure" (ok i couldn't have told you the reference at that exact moment but the verse was there. ) I thought of Christ as our strong tower that we can run to. Psalm 107: 29b "the waves of the sea were hushed". I mean seriously looking at that ocean (thanks to Gustav). And thinking of God 'hushing' that. It was awe-inspiring. I don't nearly have the literary talent to put what that moment was into words. You could NOT miss the realization of how small you were in God's creation but how in control HE was, and if He could hush the waves with a word how much more is HE capable of calming the storms that come up in my life? Internally or from outside forces?

The week was over too soon, and reality is always waiting isn't it? I came back to a house that looked like a vacation bomb had exploded--which had ignited a clothing bomb--which all exploded over what was left after a dog hair bomb had gone off!!! I came back to spiritual battles, ministry demands, family conflicts, life requirements. Even political concerns. It's all still here. But you know what? That moment on the beach between me and my All-Powerful God---that's still with me. He knew what strength I was going to need to face the good, and the rough from this fall and coming year and I think that maybe He knew that I needed word from HIm to let me know that He was going to be there and ready and able to calm the storms if they ever got too rough for me to handle.

I didn't mean to turn this into a discussion part of my spiritual journey. I was really just going to talk about my vacation but my mind always takes me back to that day when I think of what was significant about that trip.

Were back now, I have vacuumed up the dog hair, washed and put away most of the clothes, cleaned the house--and now we are excited to face what the fall and the coming year hold for us!!

2008-08-02T18:19:00.003-04:00

Oswald Chambers writes "We can all see God in exceptional things, but it requires the growth of spiritual discipline to see God in every detail. Never believe that the so-called random events of life are anything less than God's appointed order. Be ready to discover His divine designs anywhere and everywhere."

What $15 Million Dollars gets you.

2008-07-30T15:32:00.004-04:00

Have you guys heard about the waterfalls in NYC? You can read all about it. It involves four "waterfalls" in lower Manhattan at the cost of $15 million dollars. I had heard about it when the project was first introduced and thought it was a neat concept. So when plans for my mom's birthday involved a trip around Manhattan via the Hudson on a boat I was very excited that I was going to get a chance to see them.

Well the boat ride around Manhattan was AWESOME.

Lots of beautiful things to see, GREAT way to see Manhattan.

The waterfalls on the other hand? Somewhat disappointing. I would have to go so far as the say cheesy. I mean it's scaffolding with water pipes spewing water out the top. When they talk about the project they say things about it being quintessential New York because scaffolding is such a part of the city. (??) So is pigeon poop. I think it's their way of saying that they had a cool concept but couldn't come up with a better way of implementing it.

Kaity's first haircut.

2008-07-30T15:24:00.003-04:00

Yes I finally acquiesced and allowed Kaity to have her hair cut. Probably not surprising the event was far more traumatizing for me than it was for her! Especially, since she was FAR more concerned about gettingto the promised ice cream than about what was coming off her head!! Rodney was just wondering why ice-cream hadn't been a part of the THREE times that he has had his hair cut already.

Kaity-isms

2008-07-08T12:47:00.002-04:00

There are times when we hear ourselves in our children and think "oh..how sweet", then there are other times when we hear ourselves in our children and grimace. Then there are those perfect times when we hear no one but our children in our children. I thought I would share some of each.

About a week ago I was cleaning my basement because we had company coming for the 4th of July. I enlisted Kaity's help as they are mostly her toys that make the basement look like Toys R' Us exploded down there. She was a GREAT helper putting all her toys into their toy box without complaining or anything. Well quickly the toy boxes were filling up so I started putting toys into a milk crate we have down there. Kaity sees what I am doing puts her hand on her hip and with a VERY disapproving/reprimanding voice says "Mom, I am trying to put my toys in the toy box is THAT (gesturing at the milk crate full of toys) helping?".

They say kids don't GET sarcasm....HA! kids can get anything if they start getting taught it early enough.

So that was the grimace. However, a day or so after that we were eating dinner with my dad at Boston Market. Grampy had gone over go get soda and when he came back told Kaity that they could share. SO Kaity looks at me and says "mom Grampy got us soda", I said "oh that was so nice of him Kaity" Kaity leans over and squeezes Grampy's arm. "He's a good man" she says.

That was the proud smile (he IS a good man). Then there was the 3 1/2 year old. Daddy was getting her in the car outside of Panera and Kaity leans over and picks something up from the ground that had fallen off the tree.

Kaity: "What is this daddy"

Tim: "Bark"

Kaity shoots a questioning look '??"

Tim: I know it sounds strange but what comes off of a tree has the same word as the sound a dog makes. Weird huh?

So Kaity gets up in the van with her possession. We drive along for a little bit and Kaity says "Oh no mom I dropped my....." I turned around to look at her as she starts to say "What's it called again.. (the light goes on..you know she's remembered) .oh yeah. Mom I dropped my woof."

True story. You can't make this stuff up.

Nostalgia Aint What It Used to Be

2008-06-09T20:27:00.004-04:00

Just for fun I thought that I would share with you some interesting numbers.

The government says that the tax burden will be $2.6 trillion in 2008. But counting the "deadweight" loss from damage done by taxes to the private economy, the real tax burden is twice that-roughly$ 5.2 trillion.

On the spending side, a study by the Office of Management and Budget showed that government programs on average fall 39% short of meeting their goals. THus, in 2008 , government will spend $2.7 trillion to provide $1.65 trillion of benefit. $5.2 trillion tax burden for $1.65 trillion benefit?

In 2008 American will spend more on taxes than they will spend on food, clothing and housing COMBINED.

Everyone has been complaining about gas prices lately and Obama wants to put a tax on the 'windfall profits' that the oil companies are making, while McCain wants to 'investigate' the speculation that goes on and how that impacts the gas prices. Well there are some interesting numbers there too. The governments makes a MINIMUM of 13% on every tank of gas sold. That is higher in some places like California and does NOT include the INCOME taxes they make off the oil companies. The oil companies make 8.3% on every tank of gas sold.

Other interesting numbers on this topic...How many new refineries have been built in this country in the last 30 years-0. Not to mention that they won't let us drill for oil domestically which would greatly eliminate our dependance on foreign oil but to be fair they have their reasons I think the "American Thinker" put it best 1) Such drilling might enrich the evil oil companies who exploit us by providing cheap, abundant fuel at profit; 2) such drilling might harm the environment in mystical ways immune to scientific inquiry ;3) Actually finding oil might stop the artificially induced conservation efforts of Leftist by allowing middle class American to drive as if they were limousine liberals.

Hillary and Obama are both looking to take the oil companies profits. The problem is a large portion of those profits largely belong to the American people. 40% of Americans are heavily invested in big oil. And the real figure is probably much higher than that. If you have mutual funds, stock market funds, or if you have a pension fund, a 401-K or and IRA or even a bank account, you are invested in the big oil companies because these companies have had the greatest return on investments.

Obama's spending strategy is this: he wants to spend $150 billion on a green-energy plan. He want to establish an infrastructure investment bank to the tune of $60 billion. He wants to expand health care by roughly $65billion. He wants to "reopen" trade deals (i.e. raise the barriers to free trade). He intends to regulate the profits for drug companies, health insurers and energy firms. He wants to establish a mortgage-interest tax credit. He wants to double the number of workers receiving the earned-income tax credit and triple the benefit for minimum wage workers. The WSJ's Steve Moore has done the math on Obama's tax plan. It is going to cost about $800 billion. It is going to add up to 39.6 % personal income tax, a 52.2% combined income and payroll tax, a 28% capital gains tax , a 39.6% dividends tax and a 55% estate tax.

That might be enough numbers for now, especially because so many people really seem to be OK with the idea of redistributing wealth, and have bought into the concept of making big companies pay. I think I shall end with a thought from President Ford.

"A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have."

2008-06-07T10:56:00.003-04:00

"I never had any other desire so strong, and so like to covetousness, as that one which I have had always, that I might be master at last of a small house and a large Garden."

-Abraham Cowley, The Garden, 1666

I think that I have finally, mostly, finished my planting in my garden this year. It was a fairly larger project than other years because this year as part of what we did we built a retaining wall around the garden and down the side of the house. Now I am just trying to convince Timmy that we need to redo the lawn in FRONT of the garden.

I know there are those of you laughing at me for calling my 2'x10' space a garden. I understand that it is basically a really large flower box...but I love it. There is truly something undeniably just perfect about digging in the dirt, planting things and then having the pleasure of watching them grow.

God Almighty first planted a garden: and, indeed it is the purest of human pleasure.

-Francis Bacon

So now when the dishes REALLY need to get done ...I go outside and weed...or when the laundry is piling up so that we have no clean clothes to wear...I go outside and water. I think there really is something to the saying that "God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done.". Blast those rainy days...of course the rain doesn't touch my hanging plants and flower boxes..so I do still have to take some time for those! ;-)

To All Who Have and Are Serving-Thanks.

2008-05-26T14:52:00.004-04:00

Memorial Day

by Edgar A. Guest

These did not pass in selfishness;

they died for all mankind;

They died to build a better world

for all who stayed behind;

And we who hold their memory dear,

and bring them flowers today,

Should consecrate ourselves once more

to live and die as they.

They were defenders of the faith

and guardians of the truth;

that you and I might live and love,

they gladly gave their youth;

And we who set this day apart

to honor them who sleep

Should pledge ourselves to hold the faith

they gave their lives to keep.

If tears are all we shed for them.

then they have died in vain;

If flowers are all we bring them,

forgotten they remain;

If by their courage we ourselves

to courage are not led,

Then needlessly these graves have closed

above our heroes dead.

To symbolize our love with flowers is not enough to do;

We must be brave as they were brave,

and true as they were true.

They died to build a better world,

and we who mourn today

Should consecrate ourselves once more

to live and die as they.

Tourist for A Day...

2008-05-06T15:51:00.009-04:00

I live roughly 20 miles from Manhattan. For 10 years before I moved to N.J. I lived in the Bronx. Given those facts it is a bit sad how little I have checked off my list of things I would like to see and do there. We had family in for the weekend and given that they are tourist, not only had they already done and seen more in the city than I have, they wanted to see more. So on Sunday morning we piled the kids in the car and headed in.

I think therein lies part of the reason we don't get in more often....the tolls are exorbitant... the traffic is horrendous... the parking is sky high, but I digress.

We drove past ground zero which is still mostly a hole in the ground 7 years later. pathetic.

We parked our car down at 45 wall street by battery park. I worked in midtown for 7 years so I spent very little time downtown. It is a gorgeous, charming part of the city with little surprises around every corner. We would turn a corner and there would be a street that was still cobblestone. We turned another corner and it was be a street full of little bistros with all outside seating. We walked over to battery park which is a beautiful park. It's all the way down at the end of Manhattan right on the water and it's really clean (for NYC) and nicely maintained. I had NO idea that New York City even had a Vietnam Veteran's Memorial!

I also had no idea that there was a Merchant Mariners Memorial.

They do.

On the list of things that I have wanted to do but have never gotten around to was Liberty Island and the Statue of Liberty. I have only ever come as close as the Staten Island Ferry gets you. This time since we were with family from Idaho we thought that we would ante up the whopping $12 that they charge for the ferry ride over and take a closer look. Well worth it. It helped that it was a gorgeous 70 degree day without a cloud in the sky but the boat ride over was fun, and well there is something very awe inspiring about seeing lady liberty up close. And appropriately I found there are few places in the city with more ethnic diversity. You see people from all countries and cultures, several languages being spoken and it just seems so fitting that this symbol of liberty at the 'entrance' to Manhattan would be what brought us all together.

Well after that the only thing to do was to experience a little bit more culture, so we headed up to Little Italy for dinner. If you have never been to Little Italy in downtown Manhattan it is a 'MUST' experience. You truly feel like you have walked into another world. It is especially fascinating because we got there driving through Chinatown first and the change is drastic. From one block to the next you feel like you have just crossed continent borders, let alone countries, and in reality you have just driven a hundred feet!

The day was exhausting, but educational and fascinating and just plain fun. So if you live within a hundred miles of Manhattan I definitely recommend taking the time to see some of the sights that in a lot of ways we just take for granted. And, well, if you live more than a hundred miles from Manhattan why don't you come visit someone who DOES live here...and make them take you to see some of the sights? They'll probably thank you for it.

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed-The Movie

2008-04-29T20:02:00.003-04:00

I went to see Expelled this past weekend. Going into the movie I did not know what to expect. I had read some of the reviews on line, most of which were NOT very positive. Downright nasty actually. There have been times in the past where I have felt that when people feel like they have the truth, they don't actually have to put out a quality product. They seem to assume that the truth will carry them.

I did not feel that way about Expelled. I thought the movie was entertaining and well done. I confess that in order to enjoy it fully you have to actually HAVE a sense of humor which it was obvious that some of the people did not have. And it's probably easier to enjoy the movie if the premise of the movie is not one that makes your skin crawl. Since I would like to think that I do have a sense of humor and the premise of the movie does NOT make my skin crawl I actually really enjoyed it.

Ben Stein basically seemed to have three points that he wanted to get across. The first one being that if you hold to the theory of intelligent design that you are "expelled" from the scientific and academic world. The second one being that there is a connection to the theories of Darwin and Nazism, abortion, eugenics, euthanasia ...etc. And the third being the idea that to some extent evolution is indeed it's own religion or at the very least has it's own 'religious' agenda. In my opinion he did a much better job defending the second two ideas than he did the first one which was basically the premise for the whole movie. To be fair he did not have that many examples of people who had been kicked out of the scientific academia because of their religious or ID views and not much time was given to those who would refute that there might have been another reason for what was considered ill treatment. I am not sure that Ben Stein is wrong. I think that it probably IS harder to get ahead in that world if you hold a view contrary to the 'mainstream' but that is going to be the case in any field, at any point in time. I think the only way to make headway is to come up with scientific proof for your ideas and theories and I think that those in the ID movement who are doing that best are finding that they DO have a place albeit a small one. They ARE being published, they ARE being debated.

I think there is a far more convincing case for his last two arguments. I think that it is more than a slight stretch to say that Darwinism is the reason for the holocaust. Obviously, there are hundreds of thousands of people who are Darwinian evolutionist who don't set out to eliminate an entire race of people. Hitler was a racist man, and an evil man. He used Darwin to justify some of his actions. At the same time Darwinian evolution and intelligent design and creationism do approach life with two very distinct world views. One eliminates God, or any outside influence on the world and the others at the LEAST embrace some sort of higher power that is responsible for putting life on this planet. I don't think that that can help but influence the value that you put on human life. If we are all simply evolved and humans are no different than the primordial soup we managed to crawl out of, if it is merely a 'survival of the fittest' world then on what basis are we to find value in human life? Is it 'wrong' to take another human life if doing so benefits yours? On whose authority are we judging right and wrong? Is it 'wrong' for some animals to eat their young? If humans are simply evolved animals why is there such moral outrage over child abuse or even neglect? There is no finger pointing in the animal kingdom if a mother walks away from her child. I guess I am a little confused as to why there is even such an outcry that this was suggested. Lets take a survey. Lets put everyone on one side of the room who holds Darwin's views, on the other side of the room lets put those who hold to I.D. or creation. Now lets ask who is pro-life vs. pro-choice. Who is OK with physician assisted suicide vs. opposed. Euthanasia vs. opposed (as long as people were honest). I think that with a show of hands the two sides of the room would find that they disagreed over a lot more than how life began. A lot of times when you talk about evolution vs. creation people will talk about finding a perfectly tended garden in the middle of the woods. You wouldn't assume that it had happened by chance over time, you would know that someone had planted it there. I think that the same argument could apply to ethics and morality. If you are walking through the woods and you think that you have no more right to it than someone else you are going to have a certain treatment towards it. You are going to pick fruit off a a tree and eat it if you so desire. You could cut some trees down for firewood or to build a shelter, you would never think twice. You would feel differently about the garden. It belongs to someone, someone is caring for it, has put value on it. You are probably NOT going to feel that it is yours to do with as you please.

The third argument is Darwinian evolution as religion. I think that like Michael Behe you can believe in some religion and some evolution (he holds to an I.D. view). He believes in common descent, he believes in evolutionary processes over millions of years but he does believe that it is far too complex to have happened without some designer who not only started life but coded it with the necessary information for the changes that came over the millions of years. You cannot believe in Darwinian evolution and believe in God. If God did not create us and place us on the earth, if we merely evolved from inorganic to organic through life and death processes over millions of years and through those millions of years God never intervened in ANY of it... then what is your definition of God? To that end you have to agree that if not a 'religion' it at least comes with an atheistic 'world view'.

Also, why do evolutionist make it so personal if it's really all about science? I mean in the movie one scientist says that since it could NOT have been God then those who hold that view must be stupid, insane , or ignorant. Richard Dawkins in attacking the movie and attempting to defend himself has taken to calling those who hold the view "IDiots". In the movie another scientist admitted that part of the plan in keeping God out of science was the hope that someday science would completely replace religion. Why would Richard Dawkins right a book "The God Delusion". If God and religion are meant to be kept so separate then why would a leading scientist right ANY book that dealt with God? What is his next book going to be "Is Islam a religion of Hate" or "How to Bring Peace to the Middle East"? Why not just continue in science and allow those who want to believe in God alone? Because they have at least as strong an anti-God agenda as any I.D. scientist has a pro-God agenda.

A professor in the Dept. of Biology at Kansas Sate University says "Even if all the data point to an intelligent designer, such a hypothesis is excluded from science because it is not naturalistic" . Richard Dawkins in the movie tells Ben Stein that it is quite possible that the deeper they get into molecular biology the more they will probably find what looks like the 'signature of a designer'. He has since come out and defended himself (somewhat sketchily) on why he said what he said about a more evolved life form having placed life here. But he did not retract what he said about the signature of the designer. OR come up with a more plausible explanation for life coming from non-life (the backs of crystals perhaps?).

Richard Lewontin of Harvard has said "We take the side of science in spite of the patent absurdity of some its constructs,...in spite of the tolerance of the scientific community for unsubstantiated commitment to materialism...we are forced by our a priori adherence to material causes to create an apparatus of investigation and set of concepts that produce material explanations, no matter how counterintuitive, no matter how mystifying to the uninitiated. Moreover, that materialism is absolute, for we cannot allow a Divine Foot in the door."

Mark Singham a physicists said "our teaching methods are primarily those of propaganda. We appeal --without demonstration to evidence that supports our position. we only introduce arguments and evidence that supports the currently accepted theories and omit or gloss over any evidence to the contrary."

Julian Huxley said in his book "Religion without Revelation" said "The God hypothesis....is becoming an intellectual and moral burden on our thought....we must construct something to take it's place. His answer? "change our pattern of religious thought from a God-centered to an evolution-centered pattern."

I encourage everyone to see the movie. I mean if you agree it is nice to see a movie that actually doesn't attack Christians, the right , or the president (who in MORE than one blog I have read is being blamed for 1) the movie...2) the lack of academic freedom and 3) yeah..the holocaust) .

If you don't agree you don't want to actually confirm Ben's view that discussion is being suppressed do you? See the movie..question everything..draw your own conclusions.

What IS "the message" that Eugene Peterson is trying to get across?

2008-04-22T20:38:00.006-04:00

I am generally a big fan of a good debate. Whether it be political, social, or other. I don't even care if I really have a side in an argument, I think a good debate is good for the soul. That is not always the case when it comes to spiritual issues or theological discussions. I tend to take more of a 2 timothy 22: 23 approach. "Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels."

However, I think that there are times when that can definitely be taken too far. We worry that we shouldn't be too negative about other Christians, we don't want to come off judgemental or arrogant. I think as a group of believers accepting "The Message", the paraphrase of the Bible that Eugene Peterson wrote, as something that we can use in our lives and ministries is one of those times where we can not afford to be 'tolerant'. Instead we need to focus on being like the Bereans, who had no qualms questioning even what Paul said.

I am NOT a KJV only person, quite frankly what version of the Bible is better is one of the 'stupid arguments' I generally prefer to stay away from. However, I think that The Message is trying to purposely push an agenda that is going to mislead people and could creep into our churches and be seriously detrimental. I have done some research, compared other versions of the Bible to what The Message says, done some research on Eugene Peterson and read some of the interviews that he has conducted and frankly it's eye-opening. I am going to share a small portion of it here (I confess I am probably not going to quote my sources to the extent I should, I am blogging not writing a college paper). However, I can provide the sources.

First, I shall start with the basic errors and omissions in the paraphrase.

It deletes words like 'adulterers and homosexuals or homosexuality which identify specific sins and ADDS a politically correct reference to environmentalism! 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Do you know know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor theives nor the greedy nor drunkards not nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified...(NIV)

The Message: Unjust people who don't care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it don't qualify as citizens in God's kingdom. A number of you know from experience what I'm talking about, for not so long ago you were on that list. Since then, you've been cleaned up and given a fresh start..."

The message changes the meaning of scriptures by inferring that it is not homosexuality that is wrong but rather relationships that are not committed and intimate.

I Corinthians 6:18-20 "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a sman commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body."

The Message: "there's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much a spiritual mystery as a physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two become one.' Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever-the kind of sex that can never 'become one'.

In Romans 1:21 it adds words that qualify homosexuality, providing a loophole for 'committed' homosexuals who "love" each other.

There is soo much more. He won't list specific sins that are mentioned in the Bible. He eliminates references to God's grace, and adds promises that aren't in the Bible. A lot has also been made of his reference to "as above so below" , a known new age reference.

So why? Why would Eugene Peterson have this sort of approach to paraphrasing the Bible? What is his approach to spirituality at all?

Well lets looks at some of what he has had to say in order to maybe gain some insight.

"Single-minded, persevering faithfulness confirms the authenticity of our spirituality. The ancestors we look to for encouragement in this business-Augustine of Hippo and Julian of Norwhich, John Calvin...Teresa of Avila-didn't flit. They stayed.

"Well, why do people spend so much time studying the Bible? How much do you need to know? We invest all this time in understanding the text which has a separate life of it's own and we think we're being more pious and spiritual when we're doing it. But it's all to be lived. It was given to us so we could live it. But most Christians know far more of the Bible than they're living. They should be studying it less, not more. You just need to pay attention to God.

"Religion, is the major defense we have against God. So how do you take people that are heavily defended against God by religion and get through the defenses? Well, you do it by subversion. .....I wouldn't say we need to do less frontal work with the gospel, we just need to do more of the subversive stuff."

"In the kind of world we live in, the primary way that I can get people to be aware of God is to say, 'Who are you going to have breakfast with tomorrow and how are you going to treat them?...I just want to pay attention to what people are doing and help them do it in acts of faith and prayer. I guess I'd want to say ' Go home and be good to your wife, treat your children with respect, and do a good job at whatever you've been given to do."

THERE IS NO GOSPEL, no sin, no blood, no grace, in anything that the man has to say. He pushes pastors to read more books, more poetry, be artists..tell a story because "every time someone tells a story and tells it well, the gospel is served." I'm not sure he understands the meaning of the word gospel.

I believe that a movement is trying to infiltrate a large portion of the evangelical church and move us toward a trend contemplative prayer and contemplative spirituality. An Ecumenical movement where we try to ensure that no one is offended and everyone is comfortable. Whether people like Eugene Peterson and others are trying to do this on purpose or have merely been deceived I don't know. I won't attempt to question their hearts or their motives. I speak only to there methods.

Eugene Peterson has endorsed the back cover of Sue Monk Kidd's new edition of "When the Heart Waits. Sue Monk Kidd, a once conservative Baptist found the "secret" in contemplative prayer and has now become a strong proponent of contemplative spirituality. Mr. Peterson had this to say "As I read her book, Sue Monk Kidd became a companion to me. I love having her walk with me on my journey."

Why do we want someone with these views to interpret our Holy Scriptures?

Be Diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed rightly dividing the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15

I charge you therefore before god and the Lord Jesus Christ...Preach the word! Be ready in season and out of season. Convince, rebuke exhort with all longsuffering and teaching. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but according to their own desires, because they have itching ears, they will heap up for themselves teachers; and they will turn their ears away from the truth, and be turned aside to fables. But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. 2 Timothy 4: 1-5

The Promises of Spring

2008-04-20T17:51:00.003-04:00

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

That has always been one of my favorite verses of the Bible. I mean so many times we are caught in the old things that have passed away. Have you heard the Casting Crowns song "East to West"? The lyrics are great. "I know you've cast my sin as far as the East is from the West and I stand before You now as though I've never sinned. But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way.......I start the day, the war begins. Endless reminding of my sin, and time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in......I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light. I need your peace to get me through, get me through this night I can't live by what I feel but by the truth your word reveals. I'm not holding on to You but You're holding on to me"

It's a powerful song. I was thinking of this verse, this song, this concept. when I took this picture yesterday.

I can't help but wonder how often God's desire is to have us be like a beautiful spring creation with nothing but perfect spring buds and a promise of more growth to come and yet we insist on holding on as tightly as we can to those 'dead leaves' that we should have shed at the end of our winter. There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1.

Springtime fun

2008-04-11T11:37:00.004-04:00

Yesterday was one of the first truly beautiful days that we have so far this spring. The weather was warm, the sun was out. Truly a "God's in His heaven alls right with the world" sort of day. Spring has returned. The Earth is like a child that knows poems.

- Rainer Maria Rilke.

So the kids and I spent some time outside. Spring is always a wonderful time of year but there is something about sharing it with a child that really adds a new perspective. For a three year old every ant is cause for an exuberant outcry and of course endless observation. For a one year old there are few things more exciting than getting your socks dirty...NOT to mention being able to share daddy's iced coffee.

Great is Thy Faithfulness

2008-04-11T10:45:00.010-04:00

Lamentation 3:22-23 "It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is

thy faithfulness."

Have truer words ever been spoken? This past weekend and week were pretty eventful. But in pretty much every aspect there was no missing the reality of Lamentations 3 :22-23. Lauralin flew home on Saturday morning April 5th in order to be home for her and Sarah's birthday. Kaity and Lauralin were once again reunited.

We picked her up at the airport. As we are driving down the Jersey Turnpike Kaity sees the airport in the distance and says "look mommy, I see Nashville". This is a misconception that we may perhaps never be able to rectify! Oh, another note about that day you might not want to take a three year old with you birthday shopping for someone else. We took Kaity with us that day as we bought Nonni's birthday present. The next day when she came over Kaity looked at her very seriously and said "we're going to open your present later and it's going to be pots." That night we had a bowling party for Sarah's 30th birthday. That was a TON of fun, although most of us...weren't so good at bowling.

The next day was Lauralin's birthday....we won't divulge secrets we will just say that

her 30th as come and gone. We had the whole family over to my house for Timmy's chicken tortilla soup hmmm....and ice cream cake.

Monday I thought that it might be time to maybe get the house cleaned up from the party and have a low key day after a busy weekend. Leave it to my father to ruin THOSE plans! ;-). I got a phone call that my dad was being taken to Valley's emergency room from the school in an ambulance. My father is NOT given to drama and doesn't complain easily so if he is allowing himself to be taken to the ER in an ambulance something is probably going on. Turns out that he had atrial fibrillation. In short terms his heart rate was irregular and very elevated. After spending a night in the hospital being monitored it returned to normal and apparently there is no cause for great concern, but I can tell you that it was a scary phone call to receive.

That Monday my car also died requiring somewhat expensive repairs, Tuesday Timmy went for an MRI, we are waiting for the results to see if he is going to require shoulder surgery. Shoulder surgery for a carpenter is a little interesting because it will probably require him to miss work to some extent for two to three months. But that sort of all brings me back full circle to where I started.

It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is they faithfulness.

Nothing that happened was out of His control, or even His plan. He knew it was all going to happen before it happened and He had his own purposes for it. He gives us strength when we need it and His faithfulness is indeed great.

2008-04-07T12:59:00.003-04:00

My daughter was always an angelic sleeper. She started sleeping through the night when she was nine weeks old..and to a large extent we have never looked back. If we keep her out late she makes up for it by sleeping in the next day. She doesn't fight us on bedtime or naps. My son has not always been that easy. He didn't start sleeping through the night until he was six months old, and that required some tough love. he is getting MUCH better about not fighting us on sleep, he is pretty good about sleeping in to make up for lost sleep...etc. I really don't have much to complain about.

However, sometimes he WON'T sleep he just won't do it. I will know that he is tired, it's his nap time. Conditions are prime for a great nap..and he won't. He will just cry. Sometimes he will never fall asleep, sometimes he will fall asleep and fifteen to twenty minutes in he will wake up and not go back to sleep. Here is the part that is interesting to me. If held he will sleep. I will walk into his room, pick him up, and he will put his head on my chest and fall asleep. WHY? If his teeth were hurting they don't hurt less because I am holding him do they? If something scared him why is it less scary with me in the room? What is it about being held that suddenly makes the world ok? All of a sudden he is relaxed and content and almost instantly asleep. I LOVE THAT! I love that I am that person. It draws such a parallel to me with our relationship with God. How often would we do so much better if we just allowed HIM to hold us? It doesn't make our problems or our pain go away. It doesn't make the big scary world any less big or scary. BUT it does mean that we don't have to deal with the big and scary world. It does mean that we can know that someone else is going to deal with what comes our way FOR US. How amazing is it that God is THAT parent to us? How amazing that He is our 'everlasting arms' (Deut. 33:27). That He hides us "under His wings" (Psalm 91:4). And how incredible is it that He then gives us the chance to BE a parent? To SEE every day what our relationship with Him SHOULD look like and COULD look like?

Random thoughts and ramblings from this weekend

2008-03-13T12:13:00.005-04:00

yes, I know it's Thursday as I get around to writing about my thoughts from the weekend. It's been one of those kind of weeks. However, the weekend was somewhat noteworthy. You know in the way that things are noteworthy to a stay at home mom.... in north jersey....in march. I guess what I am saying is that no one else has 'noted' my weekend, but I shall. Friday night we went to Tierras Columbianas with dad. ALWAYS worth mentioning!! Then Saturday Timmy has the bright idea of going to IKEA. We have been talking about getting some new bookshelves and we thought now would be a good time to look. Did I mention it was Saturday? Oh and that it was raining? Hmm...NOT the best circumstances under which to visit IKEA. It was more than a little crowded! Oh and for some reason a LOT of people have a hard time raising children who OBEY!!!! and ALL of them were at IKEA on Saturday. Too much complaining. We had a good time playing with the kids anyway. Well at one point Kaity was sitting in the midst of complete chaos around her putting something together that involved screwing little red pieces intricately into small holes. Just sitting with it on her lap utterly patient. Tim and I commented on how much she liked putting things together. with daddy being a carpenter we are not unclear as to where she got this from, but it's still cute to see. So Timmy said "Kaity would you like to got buy a model airplane that you could put together with daddy?" to which Kaity responded (and I quote) " A model airplane daddy. That's a great idea.". I shall add a note to those wondering. Walmart does not sell model airplanes. At least the walmart on Route 23 doesn't. However a airplane was found and plans were made for putting it together after church the next day. Driving home that night the wind was horrific. Trees were on the road..moving the car..etc. Tim and I were commenting on the fact that we hoped that if the HUGE tree in our back yard and fallen down it would fall on the garage. It needs to be torn down anyway and that would get some of the work done for us and maybe get some of it covered by home owners insurance! No such luck. However not long after we got home one of the trees did fall down..AND here is the result. Surprisingly not much damage was done to the van. It is scratched up quite a bit but nothing that requires fixing. Which is good..because something else that I think it is worthwhile to note since it is something that I did not know. In case you are wondering. If a tree from your driveway falls onto your car, it is NOT covered by your homeowners insurance. If the tree had fallen on someone else's car it would have been covered but not my own car. Also, if it had fallen on my house OR one someone else's car then not only would they have paid to fix the damage they would have paid to have the tree removed, but since that was not the case, they also are not going to pay to have the tree removed. My car's comprehensive insurance would cover it, IF I HAD comprehensive coverage on my van. OH well I will drive around in a scratched car. Could have been worse.

So after the tree removal had been taken car of the next order of business was the model airplane. It is POSSIBLE that a model airplane put together with glue is NOT appropriate for a three year old. hehehehe. Oh well they had fun.

The only other ramblings (OK rants.) about the weekend is to comment on the weight loss ticker on the top of my blog. NO it is has not stayed the same because of neglect. I have not FORGOTTEN to change the number as the weight melts off my body. NO. Instead, the fact is, that despite watching what I eat and working out at the Wyckoff YMCA five to six days a week until my lungs are burning and my muscles are on fire. Not to mention a couple of personal training sessions with a VERY mean trainer named Ed. I have lost NO weight in the last two months. WHAT THE HECK?! I know that there have been some positive improvements. My jeans are fitting loser and there is definitely more definition in a lot of my muscle...but come on. It's not like I am trying to lose those elusive last five pounds. I am looking to drop another 25 lbs. That is not ALL going to get to stay there by this mystical notion that we tell ourselves that muscle weighs more than fat. !!

Alright well the kids are awake and I have successfully worked through my feelings on my weekend!

Nashville and Nonni!

2008-03-07T13:22:00.009-05:00

I will never forget the sight of my daughter running through the Nashville airport looking for her Nonni. We had all been looking forward to this trip for a while..counting down the days for about the last twenty. THe night before we left Kaity couldn't sleep. She woke up early asking if it was time to go. Then I put her down for her nap and told her that when she woke up we would finish packing and then we would be going to Nashville. About 20 minutes in (she usually naps for an hour and a half to two hours) she comes downstairs to the basement and says "mommy, we forgot to go to Nashville". Needless to say she was excited. So finally it's time..we are all packed and ready to go. We pick up Grammy and we head off to the airport.....where we stand in line....and then another line till FINALLY we get to our gate...and find out we have been delayed....for over an hour. Grammy was wonderful and took Kaity to read books at the bookstore and bought her chocolate and a coloring book so the time went quickly but we were delayed. Kaity doesn't sleep a wink on the plane..colors...talks...snuggles with Grammy..but NO sleeping. FINALLY we arrive at Nashville it is about 10:30pm Nashville time which makes it 11:30pm NJ time. EVERYONE on the plane is exhausted. You know the feeling, you just want to get off the plane and into a nice comfortable bed somewhere so that you can crash. NOT KAITY. she hits the airport at a dead run. "Nonni"...she falls down, picks herself back up " i HAVE to be more careful. "nonni"" more running. Grammy and I had to stop at the restroom. I thought my daughter was going to disown me. "I don't HAVE to go potty, I don't WANT to go potty". We leave the restroom "nonni!"

We finally meet up with Nonni and everyone has a lot of giggles and hugs and we get into the car to head to Nonni's house. Kaity is sitting in her carseat , sighs, "mommy. I'm not so excited anymore". There was no downside to this comment just spoken by someone who had finally realized what it was they had been looking forward to for all this time was finally here.

This was followed up a couple of minutes later with " mommy are you going to stay with me". I thought this was sweet. Even

though she was here with Nonni my dear sweet daughter who was tired and overwhelmed still needed her mommy. "of course I am going to stay with you honey". Yeah not where Kaity was going with that. I was obviously a means to an end. I had gotten her to Nashville and now I was to disappear until it was time to take her back. "cause last time you didn't' stay. I want Nonni time.". Sorry kid.

The weekend was amazing. Lots of Nonni time was had..by Kaity and Grammy and myself. We watched movies, and Dora and Diego. We (all) wore stick on earings

, and copious amounts of lip gloss.

We saw where Nonni worked, met her co-workers and were impressed by

all of it. Because you were wonderful, we shall forgive you Lifeway for stealing our Nonni. (for now). We went swimming and ate at the Loveless Cafe with their world famous biscuits. ALthough I have heard Bobby Flays' are better. Nashville was charming, we were t

aken in by the southern hospitality. Awesome memories were made.

We are home now. Kaity is still holding it against me a little bit that I stayed the whole weekend. She still misses her Nonni something fierce and truthfully Kaity saying goodbye to Nonni was harder on me than having to do it myself. I know that my friendship with my sister will endure. We can talk on the phone, and stay caught up on life that way. Getting together every couple of months to do something special is enough. I mean that is all I get together with my friends who live in the area. I am just not sure that that is going to work for a 3 year old. I mean we don't even talk to Nonni on the phone as much because she is busier at work than she used to be and it's harder for a little person to see life in events that happened every couple of months. I LOVE the relationship that they have. I love that my little girl has the ability to love that deeply and form those kind of attachments. I never want her to lose that ability and I obviously don't want her to lose the object of those affections. I love the time and interest that my sister has poured into my daughter that would cause her to be the object of said affection. "An Aware person loves all children he or she meets and interacts with-for you are a caretaker for those moments in time" Doc Childre

I think the only positive outcome would be that we all have to move to Nashville! There are great motorcycle trails, it IS music city USA. Oh-and have you ever heard a small child with a southern accent?

Traffic Jams

2008-02-28T12:35:00.007-05:00

"The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. ". Romans 8: 19-21

"Parent's are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves." Marcelene Cox

So life is frustrating sometimes. You may have a great job doing what you love..and the fact is that there are going to be days that you wake up late, it is snowing outside, you can't find your car keys, and you have to sit in rush hour traffic for an hour and a half to get to work, oh yeah, and then you have to get back. You may be independently wealthy. There are still frustrations. THe lines outside Manolo Blahnik when there is a sale going on, those annoying unwealthy people who still think they have rights, the fear that someone is going to steal your money, the concern that people are only around you because of your money. (they are) I digress. My comment is how come parents, moms especially seem to be obsessed with incessantly focussing on, and talking about the 'traffic jams' (or Manolo Blahnik sale days) of their lives?

I mean our job incentives happy, well rounded intelligent kids who love the Lord and interact well with others. Our job perks are giggles and kisses and snuggles. Oh and the dress code? Definitely casual. If you have ever worked corporate America when was the last time a co-worker gave you eskimo kisses? When was the last time a subordinate climbed up into your lap because the world just seemed better and/or safer from there? When was the last time your boss decided that due to the weather all work would be cancelled and the day would be spent at the park/beach? But instead of embracing the opportunity we have been given we look down at our sweats and t-shirts and complain that we have turned 'frumpy' (you'd rather be in a suit?). We bemoan the loss of business lunches while having been given the option of a peanut butter and jelly picnic. We complain about the monotony, then in the same breath we complain because of the lack of predictability.

I DO understand the frustrations of parenting. The pay rate is NOT competitive. The hours are long and the lack of sick/personal days are killer. There are definitely days I want to pull my hair out because of my children, most days my former job looks like a vacation. But I vent because lately I feel like I am involved in a big game of "whose life as a mom is hardest" and I'm not going to take it anymore.!!! Ok i am TOTALLY going to take it anymore because all my frustrations are not really going to go any farther than here and I will smile and nod tomorrow the same as I did today. BUT consider for a moment the next time you find yourself going to complain to someone about how hard your life as a mom is.....what would you rather be doing instead? Consider..what else are you doing? or COULD be doing that counts for ANYTHING let alone eternity? I mean anything that is worth doing SHOULD be hard. It's not the elite competitive athletes that you hear complaining about the amount of miles they have to run? That usually comes from the rest of us schleps forced to run in gym class. It's not the person pushing for their doctorate that complains about the amount of homework that is given? Nor is it the doctor staying long hours in a lab looking for a cure for cancer that complains --that is usually reserved for the secretary forced to work through her lunch hour. Being a parent I think is truly harder than pretty much anything else that you could be doing..BUT it is WORTH IT.

What would our founding father's think of election 2008?

2008-02-27T11:24:00.004-05:00

"The men who have guided the destiny of the United States have found the strength for their tasks by going to their knees. This private unity of public men and their God is an enduring source of reassurance for the people of America. "

-Lyndon Johnson

"The Separation of church and state is a source of strength, but the conscience of our nation does not call for separation between men of state and faith in the Supreme Being."

-Lyndon Johnson

"We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridles by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.

-John Adams

"God governs in the affairs of man. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid? We have been assured in the Scared Writings that except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. I firmly believe this. I also believe that, without His concurring aid, we shall succeed in this political building no better than the builders of Babel".

-Benjamin Franklin

"It cannot be emphasized too clearly and too often that this nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religion but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. FOr this very reason, people of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here.

-Patrick Henry

"God who gave us life gave us liberty. And can the liberties of a nation be thought secure when we have removed their only firm basis, a conviction in the minds of the people that these liberties are a gift from God? That they are not to be violated but with His wrath? Indeed I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, and this His justice cannot sleep forever."

-Thomas Jefferson

"We've staked our future on our ability to follow the Ten Commandments with all of our heart."

-James Madison

"It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and Bible.

-George Washington

2008-02-25T12:20:00.003-05:00

Doesn't this look like it should be on one of those motivational posters? Like "resilience: holding one when everything looks bleak and everyone else has let go". It was just surprising in such a winter landscape to see one tiny little leaf holding on to the tree. Of course it could be another poster "knowing when to let go".

A birthday

2008-02-22T20:39:00.003-05:00

Today was Rodney's first birthday. I can't believe it was a year ago today that Tim and I woke up at 4:30am to go to Valley Hospital for my scheduled c-section. What a year. I truly had no idea that parenting would be so much fun. Rodney is reaching that age where every day he just gets more and more fun. He interacts more..he loves more..he learns more. He took his first step on Wednesday. Hasn't taken any more since. He has learned how to stack things (ANYTHING) and BOY is he proud of himself when he does. Kaity is also just getting to be more and more fun every day. After she had sort of mastered the art of talking and communicating I thought that it would be the end of me starting every other sentence with "did you hear what she said". BUt the truth is that the more she grows and learns I think I say it more often than I ever did. Some examples of what my dear friend Keri would call "quotable boo".

"That would be great, actually"-her response when Nonni asked her if she wanted to go swimming when she was in Nashville!

"Mom I thought I touched fire, but then I discovered that I had just shocked myself".

Today we took them sledding. she went down the hill once..laughed soo hard. So then at the top of the hill daddy asks her if she wants to go again. She says "hmmm..lets wait a litttle while, because it's fun, but it's a little not fun." Then when it was time to stop sledding she looks at her daddy and says "daddy I am glad we have popsicles (?) but I am sad that it's time to stop sledding."

It was an awesome day. My son turned one, we woke up to 6 inches of soft fluffy snow on the ground which meant daddy didn't have to work. Breakfast with the grandparents, a couple of hours of sledding, a nap while the kids nap then dinner at 'Tieras Columbianas' and we still haven't finished the evening off with the season finale of 'Monk'. I mean seriously if someone has a better way of spending a day I would LOVE to hear it! but for me...I'm not asking for more.

Airports

2008-02-10T21:09:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks after my sister moved to Nashville she flew back in to surprise us. Saturday morning my husband and I put my daughter Kaity and my son Rodney in the car..but we didn't tell them where we were going. Kaity asked a couple of times.."Where are we going" and we just responded..."you'll see when we get there." So about half an hour later we arrive at Newark airport. I walk Kaity inside and she sees her Nonni. Well she starts to giggle and says 'hahaha we came to Nashville" (she knew that's where Nonni had gone). She says it a couple of times..we don't think much of it and climb back into the car to meet the rest of the family for breakfast. Well this past Friday we were back at Newark airport with the kids to pick up a friend who was visiting for the weekend. Kaitlyn had to go to the bathroom so I walked her into the airport. We walk into the airport and she looks around and asks "Mommy are we in Nashville?" and I said "No honey this is just the airport"...she looks around one more time giving the whole place a good looking over , looks back up at me a little puzzled and says "really? Cause it looks like Nashville.".

I do know that she was paying SOME attention to me though because later that day as were breakfasting (hey it's the most important meal of the day...so I do it alot) my dad asked her where our friend B.J. was from (Oklahoma City btw) she looks at him and with utter confidence says "he's from the airport". More later about my daughter's Nonni obsession.

2008-02-07T12:42:00.000-05:00

Deserted! who hath dreamt that when the cross in darkness rested,

Upon the victim's hidden face, no love was manifested?

What frantic hands outstretched have e'er the atoning drops averted,

What tears have washed them from the soul, that one should be deserted?

Deserted! God could separate from His own essence rather:

And Adam's sins have swept between the righteous Son and Father;

Yea, once Immanuel's orphaned cry, his universe hath shaken_

It went up single, echoless. "My God I am forsaken!"

It went up from the Holy's lips amid his lost creation,

That of the lost, no son should use those words of desolation;

That earth's worst phrenzies, marring hope should mar not hopes fruition,

And I on Cowper's grave, should see his rapture in a vision.

-From "Cowper's Grave" by Elizabeth Barret Browning.

Beginnings....

2008-02-02T13:24:00.000-05:00

So I have decided to start a blog. I have been inspired to do so recently by reading some of my friends blogs. I think we all have a need to put our thoughts into words but more so than that I want a journal that some day I can pass on to my kids. I have sworn ever since Kaity was born that I would create a scrap book...keep all the mementos of her life in..write down all the cute memorable things she says...put all the significant pictures of her life in. Three years later I have finished (and with great success I might add) the first three DAYS of her life. It might be time to consider other options. I figured this way I could document our life together..Daddy, Mommy, Kaity and baby Rodney. And having an outlet for my random thoughts couldn't hurt either. :-)

alivingjournal

On Gay Marriage.....

Books

I am getting a new roof!

Beyond Belief

part of the journey

Spring

Paul Tanner

Quote of the day

in honor of Valentines Day...

*ouch*

Out of the mouth of babes.....

Experience

Happy New Years

Thank You Paige

Kaity's first day of school

Have YOU forgotten?

Where is my mission field?

Sacredness and Land Mines

I'm leaving on a jet plane....

The Point of No Return...

Rome is burning!! hmmm...where did I put my fiddle...

Beantown

Remembering Mom-Mom

This is Tanzania

Thought for the day...

What's a meme?

thanks for the memories....

Post election thoughts.

Election Day 2008.......

Out of the mouth of babes.....

I'm NOT as dumb as you think I am CONGRESS!!

Best Grammy EVER!

You gotta bereave...

Lest we forget....

In my mind I'm going to Carolina...

What $15 Million Dollars gets you.

Kaity's first haircut.

Kaity-isms

Nostalgia Aint What It Used to Be

To All Who Have and Are Serving-Thanks.

Tourist for A Day...

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed-The Movie

What IS "the message" that Eugene Peterson is trying to get across?

The Promises of Spring

Springtime fun

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Random thoughts and ramblings from this weekend

Nashville and Nonni!

Traffic Jams

What would our founding father's think of election 2008?

A birthday

Airports

Beginnings....

ouch